Your Disability

This was written almost a month apart. Our prayer group does Thankful Thursday’s; this was 2 of mine.

“Your Disability”

I’ve never considered myself disabled. Yeah, those doctor reports come. But I do. And keep on doing. It must be done. About 10 years ago or so, I was diagnosed with tinnitus (ringing in the ear). It’s not very severe. It sounds like standing under a high voltage electric line. A sizzling static noise in my head 24/7. I say not severe because this can be horrible. To the point that people have committed suicide because they can’t deal with the noise. I am not to that point.

My hearing has been affected. I remember about 5 years ago doing a hearing test. When it was all over, I looked at the doctor and asked, “those were supposed to be identical weren’t they? Each ear should have heard the same thing?” They were not even close. Currently there is no cure for tinnitus. Mostly because doctors really don’t understand it. Soldiers experience it a lot. Musicians, construction workers. I am none of those.

What prompted me to go to the doctor is it was taking spells of getting louder. I would be laying in the bed and the sizzling would turn into frying. Nope!

There’s an app for that. Yes there is. The one I use is ReSound Relief. I downloaded it from the Mayo Clinic. It hasn’t helped relieve my tinnitus overall but it does mask the static to help me sleep from time to time.

I was referred to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Who told me about a program through Occupational Vocational Rehabilitation. Like I said, I go and do. With a slight adjustment here. A tweek there. I watch peoples lips when they talk. I watch tv with the closed caption on. If my surroundings are noisy, forget having a conversation.

I applied on a lark. I’m not that bad. Other people are worse than me. Right? I’m okay.

I’m a ‘this isn’t going to happen’ person.Whatever the reason might be. They aren’t going to help me.

I’m eligible for this program! I only need one hearing aid for my left ear. Wow! Knock me over with God’s feather.

Paperwork signed.

Now I wait. Wait for the other shoe to drop. Surprise, you can’t really have it.

Nov. 22nd, I go for my fitting. Maybe the other shoe isn’t going to drop?

Sometimes I feel like God pulls us kicking and screaming to where he wants us to be. When doctors started talking about hearing aids, I bristled like a porcupine. I didn’t need a hearing aid. It’s this buzzing in my head that needs to go. But I caved. I got the hearing aid. And in the process found a doctor who’s speciality is tinnitus. She listened to what I had to say. Answered my questions about how was a hearing aid really going to help? And for the first time said, “we will work on a plan”. There is no current cure for tinnitus. But I felt encouraged about it for the first time. Thank you God for dragging me along. Even if I was kicking and screaming. You know what’s best for me. I sure don’t.