Winter Season

Coward?

He came back into the kitchen, soaking wet. She couldn’t hide her shocked expression. He must have sat on the steps in order to have gotten wet. His frame cascaded into the floor putting his head in his hands.

“Make it stop.”

“Where do you want to start?”

“I feel like you made this decision without me.”

She gave him a blanket and sat down in front of him. “Tell me how you figure that?”

“I thought I had time.”

“Yes originally you did.”

“Why make the decision early? Why not tell me?”

“Oscar, though you was extremely supportive about the church issue. Other than that, you’ve been as distant as the stars. I feel like you holding me every night is like a death mass for you.”

He shook his head, breathing through his mouth. “I was,” he hissed. “I needed you to feel how much I love you. I was trying to show you.”

She held his face in her hands. His skin was cold and he was trembling. “Sweetheart, I know that you love me. And you show me every day. But this is something that we needed to talk about together. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have told you about it. I would’ve went ahead and told Chaz to start talking. I understand that the thought of me being a cop scares the life out of you. That is why I went ahead and told Chaz no. I will find a job that doesn’t scare you and that will be challenging enough for me.”

He removed her hands, holding them. “I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to resent me.”

“I don’t.”

“You say that now. But what about the next fight that we have? Will you bring it up that I knocked you out of chasing your dream because I was a coward?”

She took a deep breath, “you’re not a coward. It takes an enormous amount of courage to love someone. Even more courage to say that you are scared when the easy thing to do would be to fold.”

She got up while he remained in the floor.

No one had ever told him he was courageous. He felt lost but wasn’t sure why.

She came back sitting in the floor with him again, “I had lunch with Chaz and Chet today.” Oscar looked at her like she had just lost her mind and sprouted three heads. “I figured Chet would tell you.” He shook his head no. “I had pretty much made the decision that I wasn’t going to accept Chaz’s offer. So I invited him to lunch to tell him. As we were eating and talking, Chet walked in so I invited him over. We talked a great deal about the current state of affairs surrounding police officers now. Chaz can retire in 6 years. He’s buying three years so he can retire early. Even though Chet told me that this small town hasn’t reached national proportions, he agreed with Chaz that right now, it’s not a good time to be in law enforcement.  There is so much animosity toward cops. Chaz did say two things I think you would appreciate: how happy he was that I’m not in New York anymore, and that he was impressed that I let you help me make this decision. There was a time in my life where I would have just done it.” She left again.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there in the floor but he finally staggered to his feet. Leaning on the counter for stability, he thought for a brief moment that he was going to be sick. All kinds of thoughts rolled through his head. Thoughts he couldn’t control. The last thing he wanted to do was have a panic attack. He felt her hands around his waist. There was no fight in him as she removed his sweater. Her hands tracing the buttons of his shirt compounded with the fog that was already in his mind, overwhelmed him. His knees buckled under him.

It was always her being caught by him. It was an interesting turn of events as she caught him. All three of his shirts were wet. She traced her fingers all over his shoulders, his back, up and down his sides, round his waist and then back up his chest. She loosened his belt and pants. As she got up, he got up. Everything he had on was wet. With that same slow gentle touch, she caused his pants and underwear to slosh to the floor. He stepped out of them for her, kicking off his socks and shoes at the same time.

She guided him to the bed. He just sat there as she rubbed her fingers through his hair, down his neck and across his shoulders. He gathered his wits about him and set up against the headboard, closing his eyes as she continued to touch him. “Please,” he moaned. She leaned in and kissed him. His body went limp. She laid her hands on his chest. When she released him from the kiss, he was panting and she felt every breath.

She whispered in his ear, “what were you goin’ to say?”

“Don’t stop.” His eyes were still closed. He felt her move and he felt the warmth of her skin against his.

She kissed him again. This kiss was intoxicating. It was mind numbing. He melted like butter into a pool. “Talk to me.”

His head was pounding. His heart was racing. He thought he might explode. He finally found his hands rubbing his fingers through her hair. “Kiss me.”

She did as he wished. He was unable to keep his fingers in her hair. They cascaded down her body to his side. There was no tongue in this kiss. It was just emotion. He felt her insecurities, her timidness, but as the kiss progressed it was suppressed passion; a desire that burn like the surface of the sun. He knew about the way that he kissed her that sent her body into overdrive. He felt like he was being rebooted like a stubborn computer. As his mind came back on-line, his body was alive. Her moist lips and hot mouth were no longer engulfed on his but she was exploring his body. He grabbed ahold of the headboard for support. She whispered in his ear, “aren’t ja gonna talk to me?”

“What do you want to talk about?” He panted, overcome by her touch.

“Anything?”

He moaned, crying out with desire as she took control of him.

He gasped, “Ess.” There was no part of him that she didn’t consume. No part that she didn’t taste, leaving her hot impression as she moved. He couldn’t breathe. His chest was on fire begging for air.

“No panicked feelings.”

“No,” he hissed.

She smacked her lips. “Promise?”

He cried out, “promise.”

With her hot mouth on his body, he became covered with cold chills.

She caressed his face, “sweetheart, are you okay?” Her voice was distant, like a memory almost. He felt her hand on his chest.“Oscar?” Her tone had changed, it was stronger. She placed his head on her chest. He barely heard her heart beat. The pounding in his ears was his own heart. She wrapped her arms around him as she kissed the top of his head.

Winter Season