Paramount Global owns the Star Trek franchise. This is a piece of fan fiction based on Star Trek the Next Generation.
*Contains adult humor.
Black tie continued
The door slid open, Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss started playing. Data slowly walked over to the door as Worf stepped in. He extended his hand back to Sher. When she walked into the room, a hush fell over everyone. The lights seem to glow brighter.
Data’s legs almost turned to jelly. “Hi.” He smiled, accepting her hand from Worf. Ben showed Worf to his seat with Madam Torva.
“Hello my Prince.” She blushed.
“Since when do you blush?” Data asked in a teasing manner; as he wrapped her arm around his.
“Is it too late to start?” They walked to the left front table. Madam Torva got up as her students filed in one at a time. Sher stopped in the middle of the room, looking around. “Mt. Carmel, this is perfect. Every detail.” Sher turned around as the band started to warm up to A Groovy Kind of Love.
“You forget my dear, when I am able to remember, I have a perfect memory.” Data reported.
“No, I didn’t forget. I am amazed that it is coming back in such perfect detail.”
They sat down, “how many songs are they going to play?”
“15.”
“All from that night?”
“Yes.”
“That was a great night.”
“I know.” Data smiled from ear to ear, kissing her hand.
Picard took a drink of his wine. “This is real.”
“Yes it is. From my private collection.” Sher confirmed.
“Private collection?” Picard took another sip, “I had the Dom Perignon 1996.
This is the real thing.” He was flabbergasted. He reached over taking a sip out of Beverly’s glass. “This is Dom Perignon 1996 Rose.”
“I take it you took my advice?”
“I did.” He smiled.
“Good. She turned her attention to Ben.
“Yes madam,” he bowed.
“Krug NV Grande Cuvee Brut.”
“Yes madam.”
“Private collection?” Geordi asked, “Where did you have it hidden?”
“I will show you.”
The music played, they ate and danced. The conversation was never dull.
Sher had a chance to catch up with Guinan. The band left but Data had music playing through the computer. Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex started playing. Sher laughed. “Guinan, do you remember this?”
They giggled like schoolgirls. “Yes.”
“Let’s do it.” They got up, Sher took her shoes off, and they danced the Cotton Eye Joe. Data started laughing, as did Geordi. They had never seen anything like this.
Worf just stared at them. “How are they doing that?”
The song stopped. “Come Mr. Worf, I will teach you.” Sher called him out.
“I don’t think my legs can do that.”
“Are you too stiff?” She winked.
“I believe I am.” Worf growled.
“I will try with you.” Geordi volunteered.
“The only thing to remember is that there is no right way to do this dance. The worse you think you’re doing usually means the better you’re doing?” Data started the song over.
As they danced, Picard erupted in laughter. He laughed so hard he started holding his sides. Beverly couldn’t help but laugh at him. Madam Torva even joined in the dance. Data cleared off a spot on the corner of the stage and sat down.
When the song ended, Guinan walked slowly back to her seat. “Remind me never to do that twice in a row.” She laughed.
Sher smiled, “but it was fun.” She backed into Data’s leg. He handed her a banjo over her shoulder. He started strumming on a guitar. She matched him note per note.
“What are they playing?” Beverly asked.
“Dueling Banjo’s.” Wil answered. After that song was finished she started playing Old Joe Clark. “We’ve gone to a ho-down.”
“You might be a Red Neck if you go to a square dance, when the MC yells ho-down
and your girlfriend hits the floor.” Sher spoke over the music.
Wil thought for a moment. “Oh, that was below the belt.” He laughed.
“If you’re going to play you’re going to have to beat that.” Sher smiled.
Ben stepped from behind the stage, “yo mama so fat, she sat on the beach
and created glass.”
“See, he knows how to play.”
“Is this the game of who can get the best insult?” Data asked confused.
“Yes, but not real insults. Real insults hurt. These are met to me funny. My mother is neither fat nor stupid.” Sher clarified.
Guinan spoke up, “yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car.” She sat on the stage beside Data, “yo mama and a brick have a lot in common, they are both dirty and get laid by Risians.” Guinan liked to have choked she was laughing so hard.
“You might be a Red Neck if your Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than you do? ” Ben added.
“Oh, that was good.” Sher patted the stage, “you deserve to sit in on this one.” Ben sat near her but not beside her.
“My favorite joke in the world is nasty.” She looked at Ben, “should you hear this?”
“I should, I should.” He smiled.
“Okay, there was this peach salesman and he was going door to door selling peaches. He knocked on a door and the most beautiful lady he had ever saw stepped out. He had a slight lisp when he talked and he asked the pretty lady, “Mam would you like to by a pee-sch?” She dropped one side of her dress and asked, “Are your peaches as round as this breast?” He says, “Yes mam, my pee-sches are as rounds as that breast. Wanna by a pee-sch?” She dropped the other side of her dress and asked, “Are your peaches as firm as this breast?” He says, “Yes mam, my pee-sches are as firm as that breast. Wanna buy a pee-sch?” She dropped the rest of her dress saying, “If your peaches have as much fuzz on them as I do, then I will buy your peaches.” He says, “Yes mam, my pee-sches have as much fuzz on them as you do. Wanna buy a pee-sch?” She said, “I hear someone coming.” And pulls him in the house. She says, “you see me standing before you naked, what part of my body impresses you the most?” He says, “well mam, it would have to be your eers.” She’s shocked, saying, “my ears!” “Yes mam, your eers. That was me you heard comin’.”
Wil couldn’t control his laughter.
Deanna thought he was going to roll out of his chair.
“That reminds me of my favorite joke,” Beverly looked sheepishly around the room. “There were these two fleas sitting in a bar after their trip south for the winter. One flea was shivering, so the other flea asked him why he was shivering.” He says, “I road here in the beard of a biker.” The other flea says,
“man you’ve got it all wrong. Go to the airport and find the best looking stewardess you can, curl up in her fuzz, and you will be warm and toasty the entire trip.” The flea thanked him for his advice. So the next fall the same fleas met again. The one flea is just shivering away. The other flea asks, “man, didn’t you take my advice?” He says, “Yes, I went to the Airport and found the best looking stewardess I could find. I curled up in her fuzz. Not long into the trip, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was in the beard of a biker.”
“You are nasty,” Geordi laughed.
Sher leaned over on Data laughing. He smiled.
“What?” She asked.
“Nasty indeed.” Data winked.
“Nasty yes. But not crude.” She and Beverly laughed.
Jean-Luc leaned over to her. “There are lots of things I am going to have to learn about you.”
“Over time, we will learn a lot about each other.” She smiled.
Over the course of the next hour everyone departed from the party. Data and Sher were still sitting on the stage. Back at One started playing again. Jean-Luc and Beverly danced together.
“Look at them.” Data smiled.
“Isn’t it amazing.” She smiled, “Thank you DaTa, this was wonderful.
“I thought you would like it.” He guided her to the dance floor for one last song.
“I have missed you my golden Prince.”
“I have missed a lot over the years. We had something really special did we not?”
“Yes we did.”
“I want to remember everything.”
“Good because I want you to remember.”
Poetry & More 