Sunshine Valley 

She didn’t want me

     Dillon had been dragging his feet for years over a hole in the fence. He owned the property beyond the break. The goats and cows didn’t seem to mind each other. The supplies had been purchased. Just hanging out in the barn where Teka lived. Waiting. 

    He hooked the trailer to his truck with growing aggravation. With each turn of the crank, he fussed at himself. Fool. Don’t do this to yourself. Fool. Stop thinking. 

     He tried, in vain, to rid his mind of thoughts to do with Evie. Teka watched him go to this corner of the barn, get a tool, throw it on the trailer, each time shouting. Get a tool, throw it on the trailer and shout. 

     The old truck roared to life. A faint hint of honeysuckle clung to the air in the cab from Evie. It filled him with a desire. A longing. At the same time broke his heart, making him sad. 

     He really shouldn’t be out here on the hottest day of the year doing this. He really should have told someone what he was doing. He really should have help. “Nah.” He hissed. The truck stopped at one end of the break. 

     First, he laid out the rails. Two for each section. Next, the posts. The level headed Dillon told himself, ‘you can’t do this in one day.’ The I’m hurt and upset Dillon said, ‘watch me.’ 

     Each post got a four foot hole. The baked earth was not giving up easily. He pounded the post hole diggers into the ground. At first, he was screaming in his head, ‘she didn’t want me.’ Another aggressive thrust, ‘she moved off to the big city to chase her dreams.’ With each attempt at digging brought another remark, ‘what dreams?’ He admitted she was fantastic with Teka. And they won ribbon after ribbon. But what dreams? She had never shared with him any specific dream she had as a child. 

   

     He just kept going back to, ‘she didn’t want me.’ Each hole, after the post was in place got some quick drying concrete and dirt. 

     ‘She didn’t want me.’ How many times had he replayed the day she left Sunshine Valley in his head? How many times had he wished he’d stopped her? Followed her. Forbade her to leave. Right, he scoffed. “Like I had the power.” SHE DIDN’T WANT ME! 

     For hours he had been out in the hot sun. There wasn’t a dry stitch of clothing on him. Even the elastic in his socks was wet. He glanced at the shadow created by his truck. A cool shadow. Beckoning him to sit and cool off. As he sat down he said it again, “she didn’t want me”. He worked himself up again. Was angry and hurt, all over again. Back to the baked earth.

     Just when he thought he had worked out his feelings, they came roaring back. 

     “She didn’t want me.” He said it out loud. Finally working up the courage to scream it to the sky. The grass. His truck. “She didn’t want me!” 

     His hands started shaking. He crawled on his hands and knees back to the shadow of his truck. 

Sunshine Valley