I saw what you did in the driveway 

Bruce and Bonnie had lived in the same house for 30 years. The community had grown up around them. At church, everyone was talking about rising crime. From full on home invasions, to things missing off a clothes lines. Crime had missed them. However, Bruce and Bonnie decided the smart thing to do would be invest in a security system. They did their homework and landed on a Ring. One on the front door would cover the front side of the house. The other one over the garage would cover the side. As money allowed, they needed 2 more. 

Bruce called to Bonnie “love you”, as he left to go to work. She was having issues this morning and was lingering in the bathroom. “Love you babe.” The sweet little jingle of the doorbell alerted her that he was leaving. There were always 2 jingles. One as he walked out the door. The other, as he backed the SUV out of the drive. 

Three jingles. Her heart skipped a beat. Something bad was happening to Bruce, she just knew it. Her phone was just out of reach. On the other side of the sink. It might as well have been a mile away. Or dead. What if a bear or a burglar was attacking her poor Bruce? 

She had to check. A quick duck walk from the commode to the phone, then back. Bonnie had her prize. 

‘My poor Bruce,’ she thought, ‘is lying hurt in the driveway’. Nervously, she opened her app. There was Bruce; standing straight as an arrow. He was peeing on her Azalea. For years, she had been blaming the neighborhood stray. Laughter filled the bathroom. It wasn’t the animals that were killing her plants. It was her husband. 

Now she would have to apologize to Bandit.