Once there was Darkness

Chapter 55, Part 2

“What do you know about conenose bugs?”

The silence was intense. She finally whispered, “what?” Kol held up a book. She gasped, “where did you get that?”

“Shall we try this conversation again?” She remained silent. “You poisoned Sarah with lies about me before you actually poisoned her. Where is King Brum’s daughter? She was in Mecca.”

“She was until your hound got her scent. I put her on the first ship to anywhere but here.”

“My hound?” Kol hissed. “Whom are you referring to?” His mother was silent. “Elaborate.” Again she was quiet. “I have all day.” Kol made a motion and a Bejhar entered with a chair. Which Kol sat in, crossing his leg in Kessa’s direction. He opened the book, and started reading, “today may be the saddest day of my life. I always dreamed I’d be Edward’s wife. His marriage can’t be real. He can’t love her. He’s in love with me.” Kol stopped. His mother said nothing. He continued, “since Edward married; I shall to. David is no where near the man Edward is. But if in some small way I can make him jealous, I will.” Still she said nothing. “Child! Edward is going to be a father. Two can play this game. David’s seed is growing inside me. I haven’t eaten in day’s trying to kill the little bastard. It should be Edward’s seed growing inside of me. Each time David leaves, I will not eat until his return.”

Frego looked at Kessa with wide eyes.

Kol continued to read. “Edward had a girl. I had a boy. Maybe I can get a jab in at David by giving his son the middle name Edward. He will never know what I’ve done. Every time he says his sons full name, he will be reading my love letter to another man. Let’s skip to the end.” Kol hissed. “Evelyn, I have no way of knowing if you will ever discover that I’ve read this. I know all your secrets. So, you cheated on me; but you tried to starve my son. The trips to the bell tower. The cove. The island. It wasn’t enough you tried to hurt me by having an affair. But you had to hurt me by hurting my son. Rajaf has told me about your vailed interest in bugs. I know you are planning for me. I just don’t know when. I will say this, the only good thing you ever did was give me a son. No matter how many times you tried to take him from me, you failed. God knew what kind of snake I married and put every possible obstacle in your way. I was not the best man that ever lived. But I know God want’s my son to live. I pray he never learns the truth about you.” When Kol stopped reading; the silence was deafening. “Again, I will ask. Whom are you calling a hound?”

His mother squeaked, “Kessa.”

“I’m sorry, who?”

“Kessa!” She shouted.

“You called my wife a dog.”

“Why can’t I break you? Why want you go away? You look more and more like your pathetic father every day. I’d like to beat Abraham with his box of shit. I tried to have your hound torn from limb to limb but No! Ran over but NO! Why wont you die? Why won’t she die? If I could have killed her, that would have finally broke you.”

Kessa knew at that moment why God made her remember everything and she felt stupid for feeling the way she had.

“I’ve been told; other than my eyes, that I look like you.” Kessa heard both tears and laughter in his voice.

“LIES!” She screamed. “You look and act like your weak excuse of a man, father. DAVID! Weak, just like him. Every strong thing he did was because I made him.” She strung made through gritted teeth.

“So your purpose of going with Kessa was to kill her?”

“Oh no,” she smirked. “I was looking for a weakness. A point, I could get to her like I did Sarah. But I couldn’t even do that. Poison Kessa; this time destroy you.”

“You had Rajaf attacked to get to Kessa; with the ultimate goal of getting to me?” She said nothing. “Dad is dead. You didn’t want to rule. What are you after?” She laughed. “Point?” Nothing. “What are you saving Frego for? Do you know so little about me?”

When Kessa looked at Frego, tears were streaming down his face.

“Where is Brum’s daughter?”

“I TOLD YOU!” She shouted.

“I fear you have underestimated the loyalty of my army, the power of money, and the abilities of my wife.” And he smirked, “boats wait for me.”

“WHAT!?” She shouted.

With the motion of his hand, someone came into the room. But not far enough for Kessa to see who it was. “Max and Frego both have love interests in their lives. You had better know, I protect my own. I had to make sure neither of these women were Brum’s daughter.”

“Who are you?” His mother asked.

“I’m Akka. King Brum is my father.”

“The woman you tried to sneak out of this kingdom was Lilly, Max’s betrothed. I have a story for you. Let’s see how the pieces fit? You paid a man to harass Akka. You had no idea what she looked like. When she fled, all you could learn was that she was in Mecca. Somehow you found out Mordecai helped her. You hired people to kill him. Maybe even the same people that tried to kill Kessa. When this man failed to win Akka’s heart, you gave him even more money to try to start a war between the Shadow People and Mecca. You would get rid of me, I’d be on the front line with my army. And once the Shadow People broke through the wall, if they did, maybe they would kill Akka in the crossfire. How am I doing?”

Silence. Again, Kol motioned with his hand and stood.

“Dad!” Akka exclaimed. Kessa could tell they were embracing.

Down the rabbit hole

I stand on the edge.

Knowing.

Seeing,

down the rabbit hole.

~

My emotions.

My life.

My current state of being,

looking down the rabbit hole.

~

I know it’s dark.

I know it’s dangerous.

Damaging to my body and mind,

inside the rabbit hole.

~

The darkness is deceiving.

The darkness is inviting.

A state of nothingness welcoming,

inside the rabbit hole.

~

Life is pain.

Life is torment.

Life is a stressful ugly mess.

Clarity beckons from inside the rabbit hole.

~

All I have to do is fall.

All I have to do is let go.

Falling is simple,

it’s just a rabbit hole.

~

My resolve is weak.

My emotions strong.

My desire for change magnified – amplified,

welcome to the rabbit hole.

~

All arrows point down.

Flashing, strobing, lights of excitement.

Let’s go deeper than we’ve gone before,

down the rabbit hole.

~

At first, freedom.

Sensation.

Magnificent,

inside the rabbit hole.

~

Falling into freedom.

Coolness calming.

Darkness welcoming,

inside the rabbit hole.

~

Suddenly,

stinging,

grabbing, like the tentacles of a jellyfish.

Pain inside the rabbit hole.

~

Each tentacle has a name.

Each sting familiar.

Things I never wanted to feel;

come to life inside the rabbit hole.

~

Deeper,

darker,

more and more jellyfish trying to hold me;

inside the rabbit hole.

~

My skin is on fire.

The sheer force of the fall,

greater than I could have ever imagined;

down deeper into the rabbit hole.

~

No light.

No sound.

Only falling,

deeper into the rabbit hole.

~

My brain is mush.

Inside a collapsing orb.

A pressure like I’ve never felt,

squeezing inside the rabbit hole.

~

Is there a bottom?

Will I fall into darkness forever?

Is there any light in my future?

End rabbit hole.

~

I’m exhausted from falling.

Much more so than from living.

No light. No sound. Only pain,

inside the rabbit hole.

~

Alone in the darkness with my thoughts.

Alone in the silence.

My mind screaming,

from inside the rabbit hole.

~

My body, a tangled mess.

My mind, scrambled.

My senses, haywire.

Damage from the rabbit hole.

~

Can’t land.

Can’t breathe.

Can’t see,

inside the rabbit hole.

~

Pray!

One prayer.

Let me hit bottom,

no more rabbit hole.

The Snake and The Rabbit

The Dark Man

There was a knock at the door, “what now?” Holmes growled.

He opened the door to Mrs. Hudson. She said not a word but handed him a card. Holmes thrust it at me. It read, Jamaal Xeteal Carib. I handed the card to Lizzie, “is this a real person?” I asked. “What kind of name is this?”

“Let us find out,” she smiled a weak smile.

Holmes walked away from the door and Mrs. Hudson. Before we knew it there was a dark man standing in our living room. Lizzie stood, looking at the man as if she had seen a ghost.

This man had a thick accent but spoke the Queen’s English, “gentle-men,” he bowed. “My lady.”

“Not used to wearing a suit?” Holmes asked.

He smiled, “no” pulling at the jacket.

Lizzie walked backwards to Holmes’ arm chair.

“Please sit down,” I motioned to the couch. “How can we help you?”

Holmes remained leaning up against the window.

Our visitor had a scar across his face. He was indeed dark. His skin had been kissed by the sun every day of his life. His hair was black. He had it pulled into a tail behind his head.

“Please be,” he thought for a moment. “Patient – with me. I speak – English. Not first tongue.” He looked at each of us for a moment before continuing. “I have been in country this four time. Time one; to find sister. Time two; to bring sister home. Time three; to find sister again.”

“Your sister has gone missing twice.” I asked.

“No, first time – I find place. Know by words on paper.”

“An address?” I asked.

He smiled, “yes, address. Found. Sister much with child. Already have four by local man. Live in big house near water. Much happy. Not come home. Next time I come, no find sister home. Go search, not find. Go back to big house, no sister. Take babies back home with me. Five now. Three time, come back to get sister, bring her home. Man angry – not with me.” He stopped and made a face. It looked to me as if he was confused. “Not find sister. House mess, like storm. Man run me off. This time find you. Local say you good at find.”

I looked at Holmes who had both eyebrows raised as he looked at me.

He asked, “Your sister, how did she meet this Englishman?”

“He come to island. Sister like different,” he spread his hands out in the air as if he was spreading out a rug. “Land. Find strang-er fun. They spend all time as one. He leave but make words to come back. In two calendars, he come back.”

“Do you still have the address to this place?”

Our visitor reached inside his coat and pulled out a very worn piece of paper. Holmes eyes got as big as saucers. I walked over to him reading the address. “Holmes,” I whispered.

“Your sister,” Lizzie spoke. “Was her name Arawak?”

The man jumped his face full of surprise. “You see sister?”

“Oh yes, I killed your sister.”

I grew weak in the knees. Holmes just stared at her with a blank expression on his face. Our guest just sat there. He finally spoke, “why?”

“The stranger that came to your land: in the two years that he was absent from your sister married me. The big house by the water that you went to was a gift from my father when we got married. He told me that your sister was hired as a governess for children that he and I didn’t have. But apparently your sister was able to reproduce. A LOT. This man and your sister tried every way in the world to kill me. But I just refused to die.” She scoffed, “just imagine how frustrating for them it must have been. So one night I left. Left them to their little play house. Twenty-five years later he finds me, of no power of my own takes me back to the big house by the water. When your sister tries to kill me again, I killed her instead. The man is enraged and tried to kill me. But I got away.” She smiled.

“The things you tell me true?”

“I have no reason to lie to you, nor desire. If you have good memories of your sister, remember her that way. Do not take my memories as your own. Raise her children with the good ones you have.”  

Our visitor sat there for a long time not moving. I wanted to go over and hug Lizzie. Holmes was lost somewhere I know not where.

He finally spoke, “can you show me sister in ground?”

“I know not where to show you.” Again there was a long silence. “If I may suggest, make a memorial for her on your island. Let that be her marker. I know not where the man buried her. Honestly, I care not. But your family will need a spot to grieve for your lost.”

Our visitor left, with his head hung in grieve or shame, I know not. After Lizzie went to bed that night, Holmes asked me to write down all that was said. I agreed with his logic, we needed to give Inspector Hopkins an account of what happened.

Holmes and I spent a long time that night talking about all that had happened in our lives in the last year; trying to piece together the events. My heart bled for Lizzie. I left Holmes in silence.

As I was closing the door behind me, I heard her voice. It was soft and gentle, “unable to sleep?” I peeked back inside the room. She looked like an angel in her white night dress. Holmes opened his arms for her as she sat in his lap, then laid her head on his shoulder. I smiled as I closed the door remembering the great smile on his face the evening Mycroft came over. It warmed my heart to know that Holmes could show such compassion. Lizzie is an amazing woman.

I said no. 🤭

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

I will most likely end up regretting it but I said no. By the time I did the travel, rented the equipment, I don’t think I would have made any money.

It’s not that I’m trying to be a people pleaser by saying yes all the time. Extra money is nice. Sometimes you just have to weigh the pros and cons to say NO.

I feel like saying no gets easier as I get older.

No name for you

I have this feeling

I can not name.

Anticipation?

~

Something is waiting

just over there.

But I can not see it.

~

Something is just out of reach.

Right there.

But I can not touch it.

~

Something is lurking in the shadows.

Nothing dreadful.

I can just taste it.

~

Something is closer than it’s ever been.

Exciting.

Anticipation?

~

Something has my nerves on end.

Fascinating.

What is this?

~

Nothing really captures.

Nothing really defines.

Something is coming.

~

Someone?

Something?

New?

~

Under my thumb.

Under my skin.

Attention to be paid.

~

Anticipation?

Exciting?

Fascinating?

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 55, Part 1

Whatever was in the book, Kol had focused on how to ‘do’ what had to be done.

Two years after their near war, Brum brought the children back to Mecca. Kessa met them at the gate to the city with lots of cheers and hugs. They made a parade from the gate to the palace garden.

The Bejhar gave tours. Kessa, Kol and Frego played with happy excited children. Brum and the parents that arrived with him were having a great time as well. Frego sword playing with one of the oldest girls. One boy was interested in To and all the amazing food he had prepared for the occasion.

Kol’s mother came out to join them. She was due to go home at the end of the week. “Edward,” she greeted Brum. Kessa felt Kol’s body tense up.

“Evelyn,” he answered with the same subtle undertones and an informal embrace.

Brum and the children stayed for 5 days. After breakfast, Mecca saw their guests off at the gate.

Kol led Kessa to the throne room. Behind their thrones he had placed a stool. He guided Kessa to sit, hidden by the large thrones. The only light in the great room was provided by the open windows. He took her hands in his as he knelt in front of her. “Will you be my witness?” When he looked up to face her, his eyes were heavy with tears.

“I will be here as long as you need me.” She kissed him on the forehead.

“Thank you.”  He kissed desperately at her hands.

As the main door opened, Frego appeared in the back of the room. It was so dark she could barely make him out. She held her finger to her lips, in a gesture to be quiet. Then held her hand out straight, moving it up and down slightly. Frego got the message. He crawled on his stomach across the floor to Kessa. They could catch glimpses of Kol through the scroll work in the thrones but not much more.  

Frego flexed his shoulders giving Kessa a questioning glance. She simply shook her head letting him know that she had no idea what was going on.

The voice that cut through the air was Kol’s mother. “Why have you asked me to meet you here of all places?”

Kol didn’t answer right away. “Hmm,” he voiced. “Never in my life have I ever addressed another king by their first name, Evelyn.”

“So, I called King Brum, Edward. That is his name David.”

“First names or must I remind you are intimate, familiar, are saved for privacy. There was nothing private about the setting today.” Through gritted teeth Kol scolded, “Don’t ever call me David again.” Kessa could tell that he took a deep breath. “I always knew you were in a relationship with someone. I don’t have an issue with you being in a relationship, it’s whom you choose to be in one with. For the longest time, I thought it was Rajaf. When I got to know Kessa better, I knew in my heart that it wasn’t him. How long have you been involved with Brum?”

“Why can we not use first names? Isn’t Kessa her first name, Frego? Just because you choose not to practice the custom doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“The custom was never mine. And yes, if you choose to retain your title, you will adhere to customs.”

“Why can’t that be one of the little changes you make?”

“You will answer my question.”

“How dare you?” She bristled.

Neither of them said a word for the longest time. “I will have the truth out of you.”

“You will know the difference? She scoffed, “your dad wasn’t a saint.”

“No human is a saint without the cleansing blood of God.”

She huffed, “now you sound like Rajaf.”

“I will take that as a compliment.”

“I don’t have to justify anything to you. I am an adult.”

“An adult with a kingdom under her dress tail. Brum was a member of a small party that went to the river to collect two children that were in some emotional distress.”

“He told me about that.”

“I’m sure he did. Did he also tell you that he kept staring at me? Kessa told me that. She said that he gave me questioning looks. As if trying to figure out who I am to him. Or perhaps if I am the biggest idiot in the world. It bothered her enough that she shared her thoughts and feelings with me. Is there a question there that needs to be answered?”

“No.”

“Do I even belong to David?”

“Yes. There was only ever Edward.”

Waste not. Want not: fine china

This poem is being written in stages to highlight the things I do toward frugal living.

Fine China, indeed.
This chili tube will fill a different need.

What is the point of buying plastic containers?
When these work just as well as retainers.

Freeze leftover. Take lunch to work.
Who know, I might save a buck. 😉

The Snake and The Rabbit

Mrs. Mary Tarter

With each passing day, Lizzie was getting stronger. But she was far from being over her torture. I call it torture for there is no other way to describe what happened to her.

One day in early summer, I came into the parlor to find her sitting in the window. “Dear lady, how are you feeling today?” I smiled.

She sighed, “Good doctor, I fear you will never tire of asking me that question.”

“Should I?”

She sighed even longer this time, “I feel weak today, kind doctor.”

“Where is Holmes?”

“He tells me about as much as he tells you.” There was a moment of silence, “here comes the thunder cloud now.”

Was she ever right, Holmes was in an odious mood. He said not a word when he entered the room and began his usual pacing, arms clasped tightly behind his back.

“Holmes,” I asked. “Whatever is the matter?”

“A delightful meeting with Mr. Merryweather.”

“And?” Asked I.

“He informed me that he is giving up the search for his wife. Since I have been unable to find any leads as to her whereabouts, he is finished. He thinks she has returned to America.”

I was beyond confused, “this should make you happy. He is no longer a threat to her.”

“That is not it Watson.” She whispered.

“What then?” I almost shouted. She touched my arm. Her expression was soft, tired. She was calm. This part I could understand: the thought that her torturer had given up the fight.

There was a knock at the door, “What?” Holmes’ roared like a wild animal.

Mrs. Hudson timidly opened the door. “You have a visitor sir.”

Lizzie spoke, “give us a moment Mrs. Hudson then send her up.”

She smiled as she shut the door. Holmes’ just glared at Lizzie. “Would you like a pipe Sherlock? It might calm your nerves.”

“Indeed not.” He walked over and propped himself up on the fire place, staring into an empty grate.

Lizzie tighten her grip on my arm. As I looked up, she was staring out the window again. “All he wants is the property Sherlock. That’s all he’s ever wanted. When this good lady leaves, call your inspector and we shall discuss a solution.”

“Indeed not. There is much more to this and you know it.”

“If you will not call him, I shall.”

“You frustrate me beyond measure.”

She smiled a smile the little girl in the painting would have been proud of.

There was another knock at the door. I opened the it for a lady. Time had not been kind to her. The hair that I could see peeking out from under her bonnet was entirely gray. Her dress was clean; however, worn thread bare in some places the holes covered with patches.

Lizzie spoke, “my dear you could have worn your shoes.”

She blushed, “no. I dare not track mud.”

I guided her to the sofa, “I am Dr. Watson.” I pointed at Holmes still staring at an empty grate. “My friend and colleague Mr. Sherlock Holmes.”

“And I am Elizabeth Parker.” Lizzie smiled, “please tell us why you have come?”

Lizzie looked back out the window.

The lady looked at me, fear lay behind her eyes. “Where do I begin?”

I smiled, “with your name.”

“Of course,” she blushed. “I am Mrs. Mary Tarter.” She took a long breath. “I,” she stopped before she even started as a big tear rolled down her cheek. “When I was a little girl, not even ten; my brother took the Queen’s shillin’. When I was one and four, he returned home.” More tears flowed. I gave her a handkerchief. She wiped at her face then began to wring the material in her fingers. She sniffed, “he returned such a broken man both mind and body. He would wake us up at night screaming. About what, we never knew.” She snubbed again. “There were days he could not walk. We would have to carry him to and fro.” She began to cry again, “one day he killed himself. My brother, my strong, handsome brother, killed himself.” We waited while she composed herself. Holmes moved to his arm chair. I could tell that he was annoyed that the story was moving along rather slowly. “My oldest son told my husband and I that he wanted to fight as well.” She sobbed some more. “Imagine my horror. All I can see is my brother. I would die if the same thing happened to my boy.” She wiped some more at her tears. “The reason that I am here, my son has ran away. When I said no to his request, he ran away. Now my husband is ill toward me and my son is missing.” She sobbed more. I looked at Holmes to see his blank stare. “The local constable thinks I am being an irrational female.”

I was in shock, “he actually said that to you?”

She cried, “yes.” I let her cry a little more. “This is my story. I desperately need your help to find my son.” She sobbed.

Lizzie spoke, her voice was flat. “When you return home, you and your husband go down into the cellar and talk about your brother. He knows not the whole story.” Mrs. Tarter’s eyes grew large. “Talk about everything that happened to him. Talk about how this made you feel. Talk about how you worry that these things will happen to your son. Your son needs to know about his uncle.”

Mrs. Mary Tarter looked at Lizzie in shock. “I said nothing about a cellar.”

Lizzie was ghostly white. The speed of her breathing had increased. Holmes was sitting on the edge of his arm chair. “Ara.”

Mrs. Tarter and I both just stared at him.

“After you have this conversation,” Lizzie paused gasping.

Holmes scolded her again, “Ara.”

“Contact us to let us know the outcome.” She gasped again.

“Ara!”

“I look to hear back from you soon.” She hissed.

Mrs. Tarter jumped to her feet, running from the room. I closed the door behind her. Holmes was kneeling in the floor at Lizzies feet. “Ara stop. She left.” Rising slightly, he put a hand on each side of her head., “please stop.”

“Sherlock?” She whispered.

“Yes.”

Lizzie collapsed, cascading into Holmes’ arms. I rushed over to her.

“Ara!” Holmes called to her. “Ara!”

I went to the door calling to Mrs. Hudson for cold water and a cloth.

“Holmes,” I tried to comfort him. “She will be find. Look, see,” I pointed out. “She is breathing.” I took his hand and placed it on her chest so he could feel her breath. I could feel he was shaking. Mrs. Hudson brought what I had asked for and I began to pat her face with the cold water.

Holmes held her hand and kept calling to her again, “Ara.”

“Holmes, may I ask, why do you call her Ara?”

Holmes’ voice was cracking with emotion, “have you forgotten Watson, her first name?”

“Oh yes,” I spoke as I rung out the cloth again, “Araminta. Even as close as she appears to be with Mycroft, he calls her Lizzie.”

“Too soon Ara.” He scolded, “too soon.”

“Holmes?” I questioned.

“Watson, do you remember when you read her journal to me?”

“Of course, you were incredibly sick.”

“She had written, ‘Our paths will cross again. Though, I do not see the thread.’”

“Yes I remember that.”

“Do you remember what you said after reading that?”

“I think I commented about it either being a joke or an amazing mind that was writing to the future.”

She startled me when she reached up and touched Holmes’ face.

“I am alright.”

“This time,” his voice was stern. “A stunt like that could kill you right now.”

We helped her into a setting position leaning against the wall.. “You had no desire to help her. You hate missing persons. If I may quote, ‘they are a matter for the legitimate police.’”

“Ara,” he whispered.

“You never did tell Watson why you are the only one allowed to call me Ara.”

We helped her to the couch.