Oscar had gotten most of his wish. They had spent most of the month of July at the lake. They both had a light tan.
He had been able to sneak the ring sizer on her finger without her knowledge. Or at least he felt she didn’t know.
He peered out the window and saw her coming across the street. She was almost running. Before she could ring the bell, he opened the door. “Hello beautiful.”
“Hello handsome. I forgot what humidity really feels like. This sucks.”
He just laughed. “It’s not so bad.”
“Yeah, it sucks.”
He closed the door behind her, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” He rubbed his fingers through his hair.
“There is something I want to do.” They sat on the couch. “I miss going to church. Let’s find us a church.”
“Okay, do you have one in mind first?”
“No, I figured we’d just pick one and go.”
“Okay. Sounds good,” she smiled.
Each Sunday they tried a different church. On the way home, they talked about the experience, likes and dislikes. With each church it was something different. The first church they went to was a Church of Christ; the service lasted for almost two hours.
Esther hopped in his SUV, “I don’t mind to tell you my butt is numb.” He laughed.
She smiled, “what?”
“Imagine if your tail was as none existent as mine.”
“Your butt is numb too?”
“No, sore. What did you think about the singing?”
“This was my first time going to a Church of Christ. Where was the instrumental music?”
“This branch of the church doesn’t practice singing with music.”
“But isn’t that what the book of Psalms is all about? And there are instruments talked about in Psalms.”
“The woman that I introduced you to.”
“Eliana?”
“Yes, she has told me a lot about what they practice. They don’t preach from the Old Testament. It’s just there.”
“How can you not?”
“They don’t put a lot of emphasis on Christmas either. More on Easter and the resurrection.”
“But if he hadn’t been born then how is his death and resurrection more important?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I liked the sermon. I thought it was strong, well put together. And I liked it that he didn’t read the bible. I can read. Don’t read to me.” She winked, “unless it’s agreed upon.” He blushed. “So what’s on your agenda this week?”
“I have in-service the next three days and school starts back Thursday.”
“I never understood that, why does school start back on a Thursday?”
“To ease the children back into going.”
“Blah, blah, blah.”
When they got home, they changed clothes and he came over to her house for lunch.
“I haven’t heard you say anything in a while, how’s the ulcer?”
As he got close to his house, the smell of fresh cut grass made him sneeze. When he got out of his SUV, he froze. He looked all around in utter amazement. As he walked over to her house, he sneezed again. He didn’t knock on the door, or call. He just set on the porch.
Moments later when she came out of the house, she squealed. This didn’t seem to faze him. “You scared the day lights out of me.”
He pointed toward his house but didn’t say anything.
“Oscar, are you alright?” He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak but no words came out. “Honey, what’s wrong.”
Finally, he looked at her. “Did you mow my grass?”
She smiled, sitting down as well. “Yes I did. I don’t think I cut any flowers down. You seem to have them in beds all surrounded by rocks.” She drew circles in the air to represent the flower beds that he had.
He stuttered but didn’t speak. She raised an eyebrow, “Are you mad at me?” The tone of her voice was a confused hurt.
He realized what she was saying, “No, no, no, no, no, no…..Thank you.” His actions were slow, as if he had been stunned.
“If I cut something down, just tell me. I’ll buy it back.” She hissed.
“No….Thanks.” He didn’t know how to act. “Honestly, thank you. No one has ever cut my grass before.”
At that moment, she realized what all the weird behavior was about. She stopped being upset at his apparent show of indifference. “Never?”
“I have paid students wanting a little extra spending money to mow. But no one has ever just mowed my yard. Thank you.” He smiled.
“You were about to piss me off.”
“I know. Sorry. This is just amazing. Thank you.”
“There is one thing I will not do, I will not clean your house. Clean the kitchen after a meal, yes, but cleaning someone’s house can be as personal as washing their underwear.”
“Honey, I…” He trailed off. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
“Are you kidding?” She scoffed. “I don’t think so. Chet has been continuing to mow for me. He says that the estate overpaid him. But it’s high time I bit the bullet and mowed the crap. And if you don’t get weird on me, I’ll mow your grass too.”
Esther was in a really good mood this morning. She hummed while she got dressed; as she walked across the street to Oscar’s house, and as she knocked on the door. He answered the door with a great big smile.
“Hello handsome,” she grinned. “What’s on your agenda today?”
“We are having a meeting at school. Then after that I am all yours.”
“Do you own a lawn mower?”
“Yeah.”
“Would you let your poor pitiful neighbor borrow it?” She shrugged her shoulders up to her ears and batted her eyes.
He put his arms around her waist. “No, but I will let my future wife borrow it.” He kissed the tip of her nose before walking her into the garage and showing her the lawn mower.
“Thank you.” They kissed and he left for his meeting.
On his way home he stopped at Sue’s. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. Perhaps it would play out like the necklace, and something would just say, ‘me – me buy me.’
When he walked into the store Sue was slow to get up from behind the counter. “Well Oscar, I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Why not?” He asked a little confused.
“You look fantastic.”
“Thanks.” He accepted her compliment and looked around.
“Can I help you find something?”
“Maybe in a minute.”
She giggled, “just call when you need me.”
Nothing looked like he wanted it to look. Everything was too big or too little. At first, he thought it shouldn’t be too fancy. After all, Esther used to be a cop and he feared big and fancy would get in the way. On the other hand, he didn’t want to get it too small. He feared she might think he didn’t value her. Then a ring caught his eye that he immediately fell in love with. It wasn’t a traditional engagement ring at all. It was flat like a wedding band with two rows of small diamonds all the way around it. Oscar really didn’t know what size ring to get her. But he had studied her hands a lot. Her ring finger was slightly bigger than his pinky finger. So he assumed that if the ring slopped on his pinky it would fit her.
He called to Sue. She was in front of him in no time. “I would like to see that ring.”
“Two pieces of jewelry in five months; it must be serious.” She winked at him.
He didn’t say a word. The ring slid on his pinky but didn’t slop.
“Not sure about the size?” She asked.
“Not really.”
“Here,” she handed him a set of ring sizers. “Take these with you, and we’ll see if we need to have the ring adjusted. I’ll keep this back for you until you do.” She smiled.
“Thanks.”
You big stupid. He thought to himself. How could you not know what size ring the woman you love wears. If he just asked her, she would know something was up. He kicked himself all the way home.
It started raining. Something it had been threatening to do for the last three hours. It was a warm rain. The thunder and lightning hadn’t appeared anymore. She giggled, bouncing off the porch into the pouring rain. He stepped into the house empting his pockets and ran after her. They played like children. She finally let him catch her in the back yard. They rolled around in the rain and wet grass like two ducks in a pond. He kissed her. It was THAT KISS. The one that made her want to rip off his clothes.
The storm did something to Oscar. He felt like an animal being let out of a cage.
Rain was pouring all over them; thunder rolling through the sky like bowling balls in a bowling alley. He began to cry. Why in God’s name was he crying? This was perfect. Perhaps that was why he was crying, this was perfect.
They lay together, panting in the rain. “Do you think it’s possible to drown making love in the rain?” She asked.
He started laughing and couldn’t stop. Soon she joined him in his laughter. He held her face in his hands, “I love you so much.”
“How much?” She stuck out her tongue like a lizard. He was a little shocked.
“What are you going to do with that tongue?”
“You’ll have to catch it and find out.” She teased.
They both rose to their knees. He pulled her to him. “I have no doubt that you can do amazing things with that tongue.”
“I know sir, that tongue play is a major turn on.” She flicked her tongue.
“I am aware. And I have extra incentive to catch it.” He didn’t even try, he just kissed her. But the result was the same. She moaned in a different way. It was desperate, full of desire. It drove him over the edge.
“We need to go inside,” she moaned.
“Why?”
A loud crack of thunder erupted over their heads as a bolt of lightning lit up the world around them. “That’s why.”
“Oh.”
As they stood on the porch a river of water ran from them. He sat up against the wall of the house and she sat in front of him. At first they were watching the lightning, but he then put his hands round her waist.
She leaned back against his chest. “You just can’t keep your hands off me.”
He didn’t answer her with words. Couldn’t, he buried his face against her back.
Oscar was sitting on her front porch. A storm was rolling in. The wind was blowing hot as heat lightning streaked across the sky.
She handed him a cold glass of water. “Thanks sweetheart.”
“A penny for your thoughts,” she asked sitting with him.
“I really wasn’t thinking about anything.”
“You know, I have been told that. When men stare out into space, there really isn’t anything on their minds.”
He smiled, “you are so beautiful.” She blushed. “Are you blushing Miss Morrison?”
“Y, yes Mr. Patterson, I am. I would like to ask you something. Don’t answer me now. I want you to think about it and give me an answer later.”
“Okay.” He asked confused.
“I want you to assume that we do get married. Is it super important that I take your last name?”
He raised an eyebrow, “it’s traditional.”
“I know that.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to take my last name?”
“It has nothing to do with you. It’s not a sign of disrespect. I have lived with my last name for fifty years. The good things and the bad things are all associated with me. I don’t want to assume an alias, which is what I would be doing if I changed my name.” He watched her. He kinda felt uncomfortable but said nothing. Then she added, “how would you feel if I asked you to change your last name?”
He raised an eyebrow again, “I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Women are asked to become a whole new person. Assume a whole new identity. Why can’t the man change?”
He took a drink of his water. “We’ve kinda talked about this but how do you feel about children?”
“I’m too old at this point in my life to start popping out babies. I’m too old to chase them, and give them the attention they need. I would be 70 by the time they were 20. It’s not fair to me or the child.”
“I’m too jacked up to be a father.”
“I fail to see how you’re jacked up.”
He couldn’t believe his ears. He rolled his eyes, “right.”
“No, not right. Okay, so you have panic attacks. Who among us doesn’t have an issue that we need to work on?”
“What if I become crazy like my mother? That is a huge concern of mine. I can’t tell you the number of hours that I have spent worrying about it. My mom has a brother; the only one of her family that I claim. We have spent hours talking about her growing up.” Oscar got up and stood at the end of the porch with his back to Esther.
“And?”
“He says that we were nothing alike. He said that she was always different but he couldn’t tell me how. He had no reference to go by.”
“May I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Paranoid schizophrenia usually develops in a person before they turn thirty. How old was your mother?”
He turned looking at Esther. “Fifty-ish.”
“Did anything stressful happen in her life that would trigger it? Some doctors say that people can manage the illness to the point of not even knowing that something is wrong until a stressful occurrence happens to trigger an episode.”
Oscar came back and sat down, “she was having an affair. Ole boy decided that he didn’t want to leave his wife.”
“How did you handle that?”
“You are the only person I’ve ever told. I’m sure it’s one of the reason’s I’ve been so reluctant to start a relationship. If my mother is capable of having an affair and telling me about it, then who am I? She even asked me to buy condoms for her little fling.”
Esther looked confused, “do you know if she ever told your brother?”
“My brother doesn’t know half of what went on or half of what we went through.”
“Why was he sheltered? When did this obsession start with your brother?”
“He’s always been precious, from the day he was born; there was a difference in the way we were raised. But the obsession, as it were, started when he moved in with her.”
He took a deep breath. “Mom called me one morning asking me for help. I didn’t know how to help her. Honestly, I didn’t have a clue. She had already been in an institution twice. The only thing I knew to do was to take her to a different place. Maybe get a different opinion. It didn’t help. The only thing I had left was to see if she would move in with my brother and his family. She, at that point, couldn’t live on her own. She wasn’t eating right. She wasn’t sleeping right. It was a mess. But she wouldn’t leave her house. They decided to move in with her. That’s been about 15 years now.” He paused for a moment. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Metal illness is a cruel thing. You know.” She whimpered. “I had never really thought about it until now. I told you it wasn’t in me to get swept away with love. I think I understand why. Dad spent two years grieving over mom. He was so into her that he couldn’t look past it to see me. I was always fed and clean. But we never left the house. He never read to me or held me. The only time I went places was when gram and pap came over.” She stopped thinking for a moment. “We spend way too much time in this country worrying about what phone we have or what comic book to make into the next big movie. We need to spend a whole lot more time on removing the stigma from mental illness. People with a mental illness can’t help it no more than a baby who is born addicted to drugs can help it.”
“Tell me about it. In this town, people look at you in one of two ways, with deep sympathy or they look at you sideways to see what crazy you’re hiding.”
She smiled really big, “I know what crazy you’re hiding.” He looked at her in shock. She giggled, “you’re crazy in love with me.”
“I’m not hiding that.” He returned her smile. At that moment, a large clap of thunder shook the house. The world was growing dark around them.
“Let’s make each other a promise.”
“Okay.”
“We will work on our issues together. That we will try to always understand, if we can’t understand, at least listen to each other.”
