The Enemy Inside

How do you fight an enemy you can’t see?

How do you let IT be?

~

Why do I have to be on guard 24/7?

Sometimes I think I’m ready to go to heaven.

~

The enemy inside is strong.

Sometimes, the fight goes all wrong.

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Cookies, cakes and pies –

oh my.

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Don’t stand a chance.

It’s our love dance.

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The enemy inside never hides.

But it always chooses sides.

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Which ever side is the worst.

Which ever side makes me thirst.

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The enemy inside gives me direction.

Shows me a section.

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Never the good stuff. Always the bad.

Whatever it can do to make me sad.

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Question myself or bring down the house.

Hopes and dreams it loves to douse.

~

Does this enemy have a name?

Should I let it stake a claim?

The Snake and The Rabbit

The Lady at the door

The day this amazing adventure begins is like any other. Holmes went out before me though we returned to 221 B Bakers Street at the same time. He on some business I could only deduce. Not all affairs were confide in me. I was concerned about my friend for he had not been sleeping, which was not unusual for short periods of time. This had gone on for a fortnight. A catnap here or there. Nothing with real substance of rest. He would allow no medicine from me. And much to my delight, he had not medicated himself.

“Ah Watson,” my friend raised his cane to his shoulder, seemingly never looking up from the walk.

I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was depressed, consumed by the Black Dog. This was a common state for him. Usually he was far from melancholy when engaged in a problem; he was facing three, none of which lightened his mood nor enabled him to sleep. Too often, exhaustion would force him to sleep. Something about this was different and frightfully so.

“Splendid morning,” I smiled, in the best of spirits. Praying a small prayer that it would be infectious and his mood would lighten.

He scoffed, “indeed.”

I paused just to the right of the step leading to the front entrance. He stopped centimeters away from a pair of dull black well warn boots. The slightest hint of black lace could be seen brushing the top of the shoe. It was a sharp contrast even I could not overlook against the shining polish of Holmes’ boots. The woman was clean and neatly dressed though she was not burdened with wealth.

Holmes glanced at me then back to the creature hunched over on the step. “Knock!” he roared. I jumped for the assault was harsh indeed. If the birds had been perched on top of our home, they would have flown away in panic.

Her voice cracked as she spoke. “I”, she paused fighting back tears I thought. “Dare not.”

“That has to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.” He continued to roar. “The sun has not crept through the fog making this a dull damp morning indeed but you choose not to summon the constitution to knock upon a simple door.”

“Old man, you are being brutal.” I wanted this mystery woman to know not every person hated mornings. Though I am not generally an early riser, it was a pleasant enough morning.

“Knock!” Came his roaring command again.

At that moment Mrs. Hudson opened the door, “Ah, Mr. Holmes, it is you. Scare the day lights out of me will you?” She glanced over at me then back to Holmes, “do you want any breakfast?”

“No,” he growled. “Breakfast lingers on lips like Absinth on the mind.”

The mystery woman stood, rapidly thrusting a brown object at Holmes; then ran like a creature possessed down the street into the morning fog.

Holmes turned his attention to Mrs. Hudson, whom stood in the door as dumbfounded as I. “Women!” He roared once more brushing past her and up the stairs.

“Good morning Mrs. Hudson.” I smiled.

“Good morning doctor,” she collected my hat and stick as I removed my coat. “Breakfast doctor?”

“Maybe later.” I went up the stairs to see if my friend would enlighten me about his atrocious mood.

The Snake and The Rabbit

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 38

Kessa walked into the library. Kol was pacing back and forth like a caged animal. The floor was covered in paper. Some of it was crumpled into balls. There were books splayed open. Sheets of paper everywhere. She was almost afraid to step anywhere. So she slipped off her shoes.

Kol was so lost that he hadn’t heard the knock. Hadn’t heard her come in. Finally, he stopped pacing, sniffed before rubbing his face with his hands. When she touched his shoulder, he quickly turned to face her. “Kes,” he hugged her up.

“What’s wrong, my husband?” She asked softly.

“How do you write?” He asked releasing her from the hug. She cocked her head to the side a little. “I know how to write.” A great sigh escaped his throat as he set on the edge of the desk. “Everything I write sounds so,” he thought searching for the right words. “Dull, legal.” Those fingers that she so loved gliding over her body was being used to scratch his head. He motioned for her to join him. When she was close, he put his hands on her waist. “You’re list, compared to mine, reads like a love story. You can leave me a note telling me you are going to the market and it glows off the page. My words are heavy.”

With gentle fingers, she stroked his hair. “Prehaps it’s the reader.” She sweetly suggested as he leaned into her touch. “Walk with me.” She suggested.

He got up. She led him to the top of the wall. The sun was setting filling the sky with color. Finally, the courage to speak filled him. “You didn’t answer my question.”

She pressed her lips together. “Which one?”  

“When Abraham brought the box to the library, I asked if you thought he was telling the truth? I wanted your gut reaction.”

“That one.” She prayed a silent prayer as they walked that God would give her the right words to say. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. She didn’t trust his mother. But it wasn’t her place to bring the Queen Mother down. Right now would be the perfect time for a distraction. But none came. With great caution she finally said, “I think Abraham’s box is a treasured gift.”

“Why would you go through someone else’s garbage?”

Kessa was afraid to speak.

He stopped; sitting on the wall, eagerly anticipating her next words. ‘Guide me lord’, came another prayer. “When Frego was born, you wasn’t allowed in the room.”

Kol about fell off the wall. Shock resonated in his voice, “how do you know that?”

“I was there.” Kessa stepped a step closer to him.

“You saw Frego’s birth?”

“No, I was watching you. I’ve seen you go through a lot in your life. That moment of rejection still haunts you. Upset as you were, you waited. Waited for your moment with Frego. When you got it, you’ve never let it go. There isn’t a star in the sky that you wouldn’t try to shoot down if he wanted one.” Kol’s eyes got moist with tears. She was right. “What if this situation with Abraham is similar? He’s telling the truth. They can’t have children. Elizabeth is your mother’s sister. As long as I can remember Abraham has always been there for you and with you. Always two steps behind. If I were him, and your mother purged your chambers, you’d better believe I’d be rooting through more than garbage to save pieces of your life.”  

He put his hands around her waist pulling her closer. Night was falling. All across the wall, soldiers were lighting torches. They stayed far away from the king and queen as they went about their work.

“Why would he care about me more than my own parents?”

Kessa pressed her lips together again. He was asking hard questions. His eyes were pleading when she looked into them. “Human nature is selfish. We tend for our surroundings to be all about us. Even when children are brought into the situation, the need for ‘me’ is too strong.” He laid his head on Kessa’s stomach. “Accept Abraham’s gift as a gift of love?” She rubbed her fingers through his hair. “We don’t get to choose our parents. But God puts amazing people in our lives that have better gifts than our parents.”

“Do you ever wonder who your parents are?” His question sent ripples of disgust through her and she took a step back. Had he stepped into waters where he didn’t belong?

“No. They didn’t want me. The greatest thing they did for me was give me away. The life I have I wouldn’t trade for any other life.” She smiled a wicked grin, licked her lips, and leaned in, hissing in his ear, “I got me a king.”

He fought back the mixed bag of emotions he was feeling and started laughing. When he looked at her, her face seemed to glow with delight.

“A broken king.” He tried to smile. She caressed his face. He kissed her hand when she got to his lips. “I wish I could see myself through your eyes.”

“If you could, you would see the third greatest man that ever lived.”

A twinge of pain rippled through him, “third. How did I rank so low?”

“Jesus, my dad,”

His smile lit up the night, “that is a list I’m honored to be third on.”

The Snake and The Rabbit

Introduction

As it has been, I have seen many things being a doctor. My profession has taken me on an eventful journey. A journey that I would not trade for all the jewels in the crown. I have learned much of life, of death. Though powerless to save my own; for I am dying. Thankfully; an old man full of days.

After much pleading with my goodly wife, she has agreed to chronicle one last adventure for me. The power of my hands has left me. Scotland Yard’s greatest detective could never decipher one word written by my enfeebled hands. It pains me to think that I am able in mind yet feeble in body.

We have bickered for months now of this undertaking. She says, ‘it will no doubt be the death of me. And if the subject was meant to be buried, I should comply’. My nightmares will not let me rest. Neither of us can count the nights I have woke screaming or crying. If this is truly to be the death of me, my only regret is leaving her behind.

I must get this out. I must tell this amazing tale and leave the world with a true description of my best friend. The brain with a body as an appendage did have a heart. It bled like any mans. And it was my great sorrow to have witness the occasion.

Heaven, how I miss him. He has been gone long before me. Toward the end of our friendship, time and space kept us from seeing each other with any great degree. No day goes past that I think not of him and his amazing talents.

If I have learned nothing, it is that no event, no matter how trivial has an effect.

My dreams have transformed into nightmares. Visions of my friend. Visions of time long past.

I make no small secret that I never fully understood the malaise of his mind. Why it always had to be running. But as much as I knew of the man, there was so much I did not. Never will.

I am sure; if he were here he would no doubt scold me for reading too much into this unique story. ‘Romanticizing it for the public at large’. I am not having this written for the public: though I am sure at some point long after my death the public will acknowledge this account. I have to lay to rest a matter that has consumed me for years. Dreadful images flash over and over in my mind. I have seen the battles of war, but nothing has haunted me so.

I have written many narratives about my friend over the years. And have never really been a wordy person. I have tried to get to the point of the story highlighting the many uncommon and most of the time inhuman abilities that he possessed. However, on this occasion, I feel great attention must be given to words as well as actions.

The Snake and The Rabbit

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 37

Kol woke patting the bed beside him. Kessa wasn’t there. He looked at his hand and saw his wedding ring. He didn’t dream that they got married. Where was she? Sitting on the bed, he stared at the large curtain that covered ‘the door’. In his heart, he knew Kessa was aware of the door. It hadn’t been used since Sarah threw the soap dish at him. He walked over to the curtain, ripping it back exposing ‘the door.’ He stopped resting his head and his hand on the wood. ‘Should he knock? Was she asleep?’ With her injured hip and the added pleasure of getting to know her new husband, she was most likely asleep. ‘Knock.’ His head commanded. He couldn’t make his hand work to do so.

He lifted his head in astonishment as he heard the knob turn. She was smiling from ear to ear, “my husband.” Her left eyebrow, she made dance playfully, “shirtless.” He stepped inside her chamber with that sideways grin on his face that she loved to see. “What brings you here?”

“I would like to make a suggestion.”

“Please.” She limped to set on the bed.

He knelt in the floor in front of her. “I know its custom for a man and a wife to have separate spaces.” He trailed his fingers up and down her thighs. “I don’t like it. I want to fall asleep and wake up beside you. Would you object to trying?”

“Not at all.” The speed of her answer shocked him.

“Really?” He joined her on the bed.

“I like the thought of waking up every morning with my hands all over you.” She grinned.

He planted soft kisses on her neck, “and I will let you.”

The Snake and The Rabbit

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a Sherlock Holmes fan. I own the canon. I have a book written to accompany the canon. I own the Granada series with Jeremy Brett and the series with Benedict Cumberbatch.

When I was younger, I didn’t know there were stories after ‘The Final Problem’. Holmes couldn’t die. So I wrote one. This is Not that work.

The Snake and The Rabbit is my attempt at a piece of fan fiction. I’ve been reluctant to share . But with Holmes becoming part of the ‘public domain’, maybe now is the right time.

Starting tomorrow, I will upload small sections as to not overwhelm. I will also continue to upload poetry and Once there was Darkness.

I hope you enjoy.

Legacy of stupidity: you’re not cute or funny

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Sounds like a good book title. 🤔 Yes, I know the prompt said ‘WANT to leave behind.’ I wish to come back and visit this prompt in 20 years when ‘Buck’ is transcribing my memoir.

If you have had the chance to read my poetry, 95% of it is rooted in life experiences. Though I have gotten to do a lot of things; life in general, hasn’t been a cake walk. Sadly, I’m learning things now that I should have learned 30 years ago. And there are things buried deep within me that I never want to know.

There is nothing high octane about my life. I am the embodiment of work-a-day. I wake up, go to work, etc. etc.. I try to do the right things. Make the right choices.

I will keep trying. Keep doing. Keep fighting the monsters under my bed.

I will not be one (1) of the first five (5) people to die on Mars. This will not be my legacy. I have no desire to be a political figure. This will not be my legacy.

Let’s revisit this in 20 years. 😉