Once there was Darkness

Chapter 7

As the king lay down, he knew it was pointless. Another sleepless night. Exhaustion overtook him as images of times past filled his mind; he was standing outside. At his feet, a pair of black shinny boots hit the ground hard. Dust bellowed up from every direction.

His young son was placed in his arms. “Dad, dad!” He shouted as Kol sat him on the ground. “That was the most exciting thing ever!” Again, the black boots hit the ground with force, another child the same age as Frego was placed in the king’s arms. He wasn’t excited about his experience. Tears streamed down the little boys face.

When Kol sat him on the ground, he shook as he sputtered, “I’m, I’m going home.” He ran in the direction of his house.

“What just happened?” Kol asked his son.

“That was Iram, Jeramiah’s son. We were just playing.”

“So you climbed the bell tower?”

“Yes, it was exciting and scary. When the birds fluttered, we held our breath. We just knew something was after us. I didn’t know Iram was afraid of heights or I never would have taken him up there. Now I know he is afraid of birds, heights, and the Bejhar.” Frego laughed. “That was amazing. I can’t wait to do it again.”

“You know I don’t want you anywhere near the bell tower.”

“I know.” He pawed at the ground.

“Please tell me why the Bejhar had to save you?”

“Oh,” he puffed out his chest. “I didn’t need saving. Iram was scared stiff. I couldn’t just leave him up there. And I couldn’t move him. So I rang the bell.”

“I heard. We all heard.” Kol’s face was pointing down to the ground. He was talking more or less (now) to his sons head.  

When he looked up, there she was, trying not to smile but losing the battle. She straighten her face and her tone. “You couldn’t have climbed back down if you had wanted to, young prince. Five of the steps collapsed behind you. That jump would have been too much distance and far too dangerous.” She was there. Right there. That white hair was going wildly in every direction. Those blue eyes sparkled. Something was different but he didn’t know what.

He cleared his head, “is the bell tower not locked, my son?”

Frego thought for a moment, “no sir, it wasn’t.”

“The next time you climb the bell tower, it will be for a totally different reason.” Frego kicked at the ground causing dust to boil up. “You are going to apologize to Iram. Tomorrow, you will help repair the damage to the bell tower.”

“Yes sir.” Frego answered in defeat.

“Where is?” He saw black dusty boots, “say thank you, my son.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Kol heard himself say.

“You are welcome, young prince. You are welcome, my king. I will check out the lock to the tower. Make sure it isn’t broken.”

“Thank you.” He woke with a start, covered in sweat. As he lit the candle, Max answered. It never occurred to him that it might not be Kessa.

“My king,” Max bowed his head.

Since Max was here, he might as well ask. “do you and other members of the Bejhar talk to each other? Let’s say you are walking the wall and find a brick loose, do you tell everyone else?”

“Yes, we collectively can’t fix a problem if we don’t know about it.”

“This was a long time ago. And it was Kessa, Frego and Iram were playing in the bell tower.”

Kol could tell Max had started thinking about that event.

“Steps had collapsed.”

“Yes.”

“Something else was strange about that.” Max continued thinking. “Something about a key. A lock.” He twisted his lips and wrinkled his nose. “Nothing was locked. Not the gate or the door. We have patrols that walk every inch of this city. Every night. We spent a good week trying to figure out if the guard on duty was lying to us or if someone had been messing around.”

“Did anyone ever tell me what you discovered?”

“That would have been Kessa. If she talked to you, she didn’t tell me. Not all information is shared.”

“Thank you.”

“My king.” He bowed his head and left.

Kol decided to try sleep one more time. He was watching Frego wrestle. “He’s good.” How long had it been since he’d heard that voice. Was it right? The pitch seemed a little off. Maybe?

“I think so.” He answered her question.

“You have done a fine job raising him.”

“I had a lot of help. What do you want?” He dared not look to his left just encase his mind was playing tricks on him.

“I didn’t get to know Kessa in life. What is she like?”

“What do you want?”

“I deserve that. I was a horrible wife.” She snorted. “The more you tried the harder I pushed.” Kol remained silent. “She’s pretty. Not as pretty as me. Where did she get white hair from?” She redirected her own conversation. That’s not why I’m here. You’ve been noticing that Kessa looks different in your dreams but you don’t understand why?” He finally turned to look at Sarah. Her black hair trailed off her shoulders around her arms. For just a moment, he remembered what attracted him to her in the first place. “She failed.” Sarah started laughing. “Failed!” She shouted as her wicked laughter faded away. “Failed.” Echoed through his head one more time.

Was this just one more chance for her to hurt him?

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 6

Today was a special day. Once a year the two suns of Laypa were out at the same time. This made for a hot day indeed. Those who worshiped God spent as much time as they could in the glow of the two suns. It wasn’t a test to see how long you could stay in the suns. The test was doing it. Though many took pride in the amount of time they could endure the power. Participants called it the Sun Dance.

Kol wasn’t feeling his best but had made up his mind that he was going to participate this year.

He stood in his tent among the thousands that had been erected. The power of the sun was mighty. He dreaded it so.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Kessa’s voice was gentle to his ears.

“I have to.”

“My king, are you punishing yourself?”

“No, this is one of our rituals. You know this. Made it a point to remind me.”

“I do. And I did. But you haven’t eaten this morning and have not drank enough fluids. I do not have to remind you that there are preparations for this dance. Many spend weeks getting ready to dance with God.”

He took a deep breath and walked out into the blazing suns with Kessa not far behind him. He was not going to let her be right.

All participants were allowed to cover their nudity and wear sandals. It was preferred you wear nothing at all.

Protective eye coverings were a must. Kessa’s eye coverings had a special advantage. She could see where she was going. Most importantly, she could see Kol.

His lack of preparation for this day showed. He wilted like a flower. She scooped him up and carried him back to his tent. It was only after the cover of nightfall that she took him back to the palace, where a cool bath waited for him.

He rolled his head to see her sitting on the floor reading a book. “I don’t want to hear a word about it.” She didn’t look up at him, just kept reading her book. “What are you reading?”

“Dad bought me a new Bible to honor today. I wore my last one out.”

“How long was I out in the sun?”

“My king, you said ‘not a word about it.’” She gently reminded him. Was she teasing? There was a hint of playfulness to her voice.

He closed his eyes, “humor me.”

“Fifth-teen minutes.”

“That’s all?” He was devastated.

“That’s all.” She finally closed her Bible.

“What was the longest I’ve ever stayed out in the suns?”

She laughed, “you held the record for years. So much so that your skin was much darker and your hair lighter. Do you still have that double sun plate the priest gave you?”

“I don’t remember a plate.”

She thought for a moment, “you may have given it to me.”

“What plate?” He was confused.

“Yes, you did give it to me. Beth hung it on the wall.” There was a playful tone to her voice.

“What plate?” She hugged her knees lost in thought. “Kes, what plate?”

“Sorry my king,” she blushed. “For years, I say plate because it was a large round; well, plate – with two suns on it. The old priest thought it was novel to circulate the plate among participants who stayed out in the suns the longest. The new priest stopped it saying it took away from God and made the dance more of a game.”

“Why did I give it to you?”

“You said it wasn’t fair. That I spent just as much time in the suns as you did.” She changed the subject. “Dad and Frego are going to the temple tomorrow. Do you want them to sit with you?”

Kol hadn’t planned on going to the temple. He had no reason to throw at her other than he was the king and didn’t have to. That was weak especially from him. So, he blurted out the next best thing. “What kind of question is that? Of course.” She got up holding out a towel for him. “Will you be there?”

She smiled, “you know it.” After lowering her glance she said, “my king I owe you an apology. It was not my place to get terse with you. Today could have been a complete disaster.” Galatians 6:1

He lifted her chin making himself look into her eyes. If she really could read his soul, she would know it was welcomed. “Every now and then, I might need a swift kick.”

She blushed. “My king.” And turned to leave.

“Kes,” he called after her. “Thanks for helping me remember.”

She lowered her glance as she bowed her head. “My king.”

What is this feeling I feel inside?

What is this feeling I feel inside?

Am I getting sick? This I cannot abide.

Tired. Don’t won’t too. Drained.

I make myself use my brain.

Am I fighting a loosing battle?

It feels like with a burden, I’ve been saddled.

As I sit here staring at this computer screen,

thinking about home. Would it be mean,

if I clocked out and left?

This weight upon my shoulders, I cannot heft.

Help me Lord! This I cannot fight.

Try as I might.

So many angles. So many darts.

Being flung in every direction toward my parts.

Shoulders, head, back and neck.

My desire to be here is but a peck.

Do I have to give all these feelings inside me a label?

Do I have to put all my cards on the table?

Tired. Tired of the fight.

Tired of the plight.

Tired of the struggle.

So tired of trying to muzzle,

capture and pin down;

silence – without a sound.

Help me Lord, I cannot stand.

I need your guiding hand.

What are these feelings I feel inside?

Will they ever subside?

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 5

Rajaf was sitting at his table working when there came a knock at the door. With his back bent, he shuffled to the door to answer it. Shocked rippled through his body when he did, for there stood Kol. “My king, come in.” The old man smiled allowing his king in. Kol was not a big man but his stature filled the door way of Rajaf’s house. “Please forgive the mess. Sit my king, sit.” He dusted off a stool for Kol to sit on. “What brings you to my humble home?”

Kol said nothing as he accepted the seat offered.

Rajaf sat back at the table covered with pieces of metal in every shape, size and color. The smell of leather and oil hung in the air. “What has she done to you?” He smiled and chuckled slightly.

Kol was amazed at his insight. “Told me the truth.”

Rajaf chuckled again, “she’s good at that. Even when it hurts, she’s good at that.”

“Rajaf, I’ve known you all of my life. My father knew you. You are highly trusted.”

“Thank you, my king. That is kind. Tea!” Rajaf trumpeted.

While he was making the tea, Kol noticed a sheet of paper on the corner of the table. It was clean as compared to everything else. It read:

Move me!

Can you do it?

Can you move me?

What’s the point?

I bet you can’t. Move me!

Are these tears of joy or tears of defeat?

Move me.

Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday will never come again.

Move me.

My body is tired. My mind is cloudy.

Move me.

I see others movements. Good for them.

Good or bad. Move me!

Walk with me. By my side.

Move with me?

MOVE!

It’s not fair to ask this of you.

You can’t move me.

He only had time to read it once. Rajaf returned with two cups of tea. He settled back at the work table.

“How do you know what’s..?” The king trailed off.

“Kessa can put you in your place. Sometimes without you even knowing it.”

“How do you know Kessa?”

Rajaf looked at him as if he had sprouted horns. Or if a bird had flown in and landed on his head. “My king?”

“That’s the third time I’ve received that look.”

“My king, she’s my daughter.”

“I’ve never known you to be married.”

Rajaf cleared his throat, “I was never married, my king.” He lowered his head. “She was left on my doorstep. I was terrified about the idea of raising a child. But when I looked into her eyes and saw that she wasn’t afraid of me, it melted my heart. So I made her the crudest bottle ever known by a child and fed her that first night. But I prayed, prayed that God would show me what to do. The next morning, it was as if my head was filled with the knowledge of what a Godly parent should do. I made her little garments and proper bottles. I know God filled me with that knowledge.” He smiled.

“Where do I fit?”

“She was four when you were born. Your father was so proud of you that he let everyone in his kingdom come visit you. So, I took her to see the young prince. You were so tiny. Your father let her hold you.” The old man laughed, “do you know what you did? You smiled. You couldn’t even hold your eyes open but you smiled.” Rajaf shook his head, “from the time she saw you until we got back home, she spoke not a word.” He wiggled his finger as he shook his head again. “That night as we sat down for dinner, she reported: ‘dad, it is my job to protect him.’ I was shocked to say the least. So I asked, ‘baby girl what makes you say that?’ She said, ‘God told me so.’ And from then on she has been training.”

Kol just sat there letting the old man’s words sink in.

“Something else is causing you turmoil?” Kol didn’t look up from his cup of tea. “My king?”

When the king looked up, his face was long and his eyes heavy. Rajaf’s heart wept for him.

“Thank you,” Kol left more upset than he was before he arrived.

Move Me

Can you do it?

Can you move me?

What’s the point?

I bet you can’t. Move me!

Are these tears of joy or tears of defeat?

Move me.

Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday will never come again.

Move me.

My body is tired. My mind is cloudy.

Move me.

I see others movements. Good for them.

Good or bad. Move me!

Walk with me. By my side.

Move with me?

MOVE!

It’s not fair to ask this of you.

You can’t move me.

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 4

Part 2

He looked confused, “you say I have?”

“Perhaps God needed you to be ready?”

There was a knock at the door; a lady entered carrying a tray overflowing with bread, cheese and wine. Kessa nodded at her. In a moment, she returned with a container of water, bowed and left.

“Ready for what?” They continued their conversation.

“I have no answer for that.”

“I need answers.”

“What does God say?”

Kol hung his head, “God doesn’t talk to me anymore.”

“Indeed.” She hissed, “God talks to all of us. You have chosen not to listen.”

Her words cut him like a knife. “How can you say that?”

“Over the course of time, I have watched you change. You have given in to man and forgotten who got you to where you are. How long has it been since you worshiped?”

“What?” He was floored.

The tone of her voice was starting to show signs of passion, her words heated but her volume remained low. “How long has it been since you have danced in the sun? Your skin used to be tan. Kissed by God’s suns. How long has it been since you have gotten down on your knees in your prayer closet (Matthew 6:6) to pray? What does your son know of God?”

“Excuse me.”

“You wanted me to talk. Your son is a man now. What does he know of God? Will he rule this land when you are gone with God as his leader or will he bow to idol worship of things that mean nothing? You asked me why you felt some animosity toward me? I think that you blame the Bejhar for what happened to the late queen. Though we could have done nothing to save her. And as the commander, your feelings of bitterness are directed solely at me.” She rose to her feet. “When she died, that is when you abandoned God.”

“How dare you speak to me in such a manner?” He jumped to his feet, was nose to nose with her, his blood was boiling.

“You asked me to be honest with you. This is as honest as I know how to be, my king.”

“Get out.”

She lowered her head and in an instant was gone.

He was too exhausted to have an emotional outburst. Dealing took so much energy. He almost collapsed to the same spot he rose from.

The water stretched out endlessly in front of him. It was breathtaking. When he looked down to get a sense of where he might be; Kessa was below him. Sitting crossed legged in the sand on a crescent beach. Where was this place? She looked small. The tide rolled in; she continued to set in the same spot. It covered her legs. Climbed to her waist. Lapped longingly at her chest. For a split second he was jealous of the water. The water rose to her shoulders but she wouldn’t move. There was a star shaped white mark on her right shoulder. Was that a scar? To him it seemed like the mark and the water danced; lovers in the moonlight. After their courtship, the tide started to fall. Again for a split second; he found himself jealous. He woke with that ping of jealousy still in his heart. Where was that place?

Not guts

This year I entered Chico in another Halloween costume contest. We didn’t win. 😢 But I had great fun putting it together. The goal was a raven sitting on his back, pecking his guts out.

The base was an old coat he already owned.
Mode podged white felt leaving a hole in the center.
Things I used: hot glue (a must), rubber bands, fur from a stuff animal to glue around the edges, twine, ribbon, bones from a left over Halloween decoration, lungs in this picture was a stress relief toy, black, red, and brown craft paint. Go wild.
Who knew you couldn’t buy a raven during Halloween. I had to make him. The eyes are a sting of lights from the Dollar Tree. All the ones that I couldn’t hid inside the raven were painted black. The raven is really a red bird with black feathers from a Halloween feather duster.

The event was held in our nice Town Center Park. https://visitlondonky.com/

Rhythm Dance Studio sponsored the event. https://www.rhythmdancestudioky.com/Dance-Studio-Instructors-London-KY

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 4

Part 1

‘Here we go again’, he told himself as he lay down. Kol tossed and turned. As he lay in the bed trying to sleep, he dreamt about the Battle of Youn-der. She had been there. He saw a black suit, the white that was her hair, but nothing more of her. She was a blur. He heard singing as a choir at worship as she leapt through the air wielding her sword; leading the second charge. He had led the first. Most soldiers make noise when they charge. It strangely enough gave them courage. She made not a sound. Made no battle cries. Yet the men that followed her knew exactly their place. All the while, the singing never ceased.

He got up wondering over to the balcony. Maybe if he lit a candle she would be the one on duty and would come talk to him. He could order her to come. No. His head was racing with a million thoughts.

“Sleepless night, my king?”

It startled him but at the same time it was what he wanted. “Please, come in.”

She entered his chambers from the balcony, around one of the many curtains that had been drawn for the night. A large piece of black fabric covered her from her neck to the floor. “I was actually dreaming about you?”

“Me, my king?”

He grinned, “the battle of Youn-der.”

She nodded.

“Did I hurt you the other day?” He asked.

“A couple scratches. Nothing more.”

“Has my king given any thought to allowing Rajaf to look into this?” He shook his head, no. “May I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What’s wrong?”

He drew a surprised breath, “you can tell?”

“Of course I can tell. You half pay attention during court. You are sleeping only a couple hours per night. A blind cat could tell that something is wrong.”

“You take your job too seriously.” He felt the blood rise to his face.

“If we failed to do so, you would be dead.”

She was right. He walked back into the room, took a deep breath, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Would you like to sound your thoughts off of me?”

Could he? Could he tell her what he was feeling or the lack there of? Should he? “You have sworn to protect me?”

“I took an oath before God to do such.”

There was a pile of cushions in the corner of the room, “will you sit with me?” There was a rope behind his head, he pulled it.

“Where shall we start, my king?”

“I guess the big question for me is why have you waited so long to show yourself to me? Why now?”

“All things happen in God’s time.”

Frustrated he asked, “help me understand?”

“My king, who taught you have to use a sword? Who taught you hand to hand combat? How many battles have we fought side by side? Youn-der was not our only conflict. You have seen me plenty of times.”

My Place

I know my place.

I’m the loyal one.

I know my place.

I’m the dependable one.

I know my place.

I’m the one you know will be there.

I know my place. Everything has a home. A space where it belongs.

I know my place.

I follow the rules.

I know my place.

I’m not afraid of hard work.

I know my place.

I’m the cautious one.

I know my place. Independent to a flaw.

I know my place.

I am conservative.

I know my place.

The place beside me is empty.