Poetry & More

Dreams: Foggy Mess

What did I eat for dinner?

What form of indigestion made this night a winner?

My bestie was in my dream.

However, her face was unseen.

Why we were on a boat, I’ll never know.

Could have been a show?

There was a man.

I have no idea who he was. All he did was stand.

You encouraged me to talk to him. But he had broken my heart.

I wanted no part.

A quiet spot I found.

Where my tears were unbound.

When I moved, a button or leaver was pushed.

My world shook. Then hushed.

Back to sob land for my broken heart.

The pain was still smart.

I hit that spot again and the boat fell.

Moving slowly, from it’s cell.

Down and down it went.

By it, the water was bent.

I found a clear paddle board with a sail.

Overwhelming, but I can do it. Watch me fail.

Into the water you go.

Deflating, oh no!

Through the board; I see pebbles, shells, and sand.

My bestie yells from the shore, “you need more air. You will never stand”.

Reinflated and ready to make way.

Surrounded by orbs. Glowing bright. What are they?

My bestie yells, “they are after your hearing aid”.

I’m fighting firefly’s? Trying to stand.

Removing my hearing aid with one hand.

I wake. To see myself peacefully asleep on the board; in the middle of the lake.

Wrapped in a blanket of fog. No waves did quake.

Woke up for real, curled in a ball. My hands under my head.

Quiet. Peaceful. Chico at my back. Back to sleep all warm in my bed.

The Power of the Storm

A veil of darkness falls over the earth.

It is coming.

I can feel it.

I know it’s power.

*Silence.

A silence I know all to well.

A silence I long for.

Anticipation with in me grows.

*I rush outside.

With open arms, I accept the approach.

No power is greater.

No passion can be matched.

*Ribbons of light dance across the sky.

Ribbons that can destroy the ground.

Power that can destroy man.

A beauty unmatched.

*Distant rumblings make me smile.

Such a sound can shake the ground.

Make buildings rattle.

A sound that thrills me.

*A warm breeze lightly lifts my hair.

I can feel years worth of stress-

melt away in moments.

Wind, caressing me like a lovers touch.

*The first drop of rain hits my forehead.

Others hit my nose and lips.

A warm sensual rain,

with the ability to wash away my fears.

*With unmatched passion,

with unmatched fury.

The storm rages around me.

The storm grows inside of me.

*The wind lifts my spirits higher and higher.

The rain clears my soul.

Rage, power, passion, lust.

All rolled into one giant emotion.

*Faster, the lighting flashes.

My eyes become blurry trying to keep up.

The majestic colors blend together,

into a wild struggle for a dominating hue.

*Harder, the thunder roars.

Rumbling in my mind.

Dizziness overtakes me,

as the drums in the sky become louder.

*Louder, the wind howls.

Generations of wolves running, howling all around me.

Frightened me. Thrilling me.

Pleasure I have never known.

*Stronger, the rain falls.

Soaking me to the skin.

Caressing every inch of me.

Sending me to unknown heights.

*Faster, the lighting flashes.

Harder, the thunder roars.

Louder, the wind howls.

Stronger, the rain falls.

* The passion I can no longer contain.

The pleasure within me builds.

My release coincides with that of the storm.

Pleasure unmatched.

*Panting, lying on the ground,

soaked with emotion.

I can feel my great lover subside.

Knowing he will return to me soon.

* denote the beginning of a new stanza.

Taken from ‘The Reconstruction of Me’. A collection of poems I started in the early 2,000’s. Not a published book.

Sorrow

“Sorrow knows no depths when hope is gone.”

Written for my up coming Monday School lesson: The Gift of hope, one of four gifts Jesus’ birth gave us.

Our pray group does “Monday School” lessons instead of Sunday School. When I was asked to write these, I had to do a tall lot of praying. 1. Because I’m still young in the faith. My knowledge base isn’t very deep. 2. I don’t want to say the wrong things to actually kill someone curiosity or turn them away from asking questions about religion or God. I work very had to make sure everyone that might read these knows that theses are based on my walk with Christ.

Our series this month was ‘Gratitude’. I chose ‘in all things’ because being grateful for anything earth shattering feels like a slap in the face. But for me, I need to wade those muddy waters.

Gratitude in all things

Gratitude in all times good and bad: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

It is easy to say, “thank you God, I got that bonus.” Gratitude when life is going good is easy.

Let’s try this, “thank you God, I got served with divorce papers today.” For those of you that are married. Perhaps you were already separated but those papers are final. The end of a chapter in your life you are not ready for.

When the bad things in life happen we are automatically referred to Job. You name it and it happened to him. Sitting on your comfortable couch, in your temperature controlled house, reading about a man that had stead fast faith in God. You say, “atta boy.”

What about if you are sitting under a bridge? It’s 30 degrees outside and snowing. All you own is what you can carry. The wind is biting right through your clothes. Someone just gave you a hot meal and a Bible. The book falls to the ground and lays open to the book of Job. After reading his story, do you say, “atta boy” or do you throw the book in the river and watch it float away. “Stupid Job!”

With Satan and his army’s fighting us every minute of every day in every way, it is difficult to find that silver lining. To be thankful in the bad times. I’ve been there. You jump up and down. Scream at the top of your lungs, “why God, why?” You take your pain, sorrow, and defeat out on any and everyone.

So how can we be grateful in the bad times? It starts with you. We have to change and change is hard.

In Matthew 15:19 we have read many times: ‘For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts…’ To be grateful in all things, we have to ask God into our lives. Change our hearts. Open our hearts. That’s it. There’s no mystery. No need for a psychic reading. Throw those crystals away. No magic potions here. Allow God to change your heart. Allow God in.

Dear God, please help me. Place in me a grateful heart for all things. I don’t need to understand the whys, hows, and what fors. All I need to know is that I need to lean on you. You are my rock, my shelter, my saving grace. Thank you God for the good, as well as the bad. With you in my life, I can face it all. Amen.

The Bible (I pretty much use the King James Version)

https://www.jesusandizzyministries.org/

Dreams: Muddy Water

I read once that dreaming of muddy water meant trouble is ahead.

Last night while I was lying in my bed,

my dreams were filled with a vacation scene.

Our vacation house was tranquil and clean.

A storm raced across the night sky.

Causing sea levels to take a massive rise.

Water was above my bedroom window.

Soaked, were my sheets and pillow.

A crack, the water found.

Frantic. Quickly my bestie and I saved my stuff from getting drown.

As we tried to leave our soggy place,

we got a slap in the face.

Blocked! The bridge was covered,

by muddy, swirling water. No safe way could be discovered.

Fear? Diseases live in dirty water.

Who knows what bugs were waiting to slaughter?

There was one calm place in the water. My bestie dove, head first into the darkness.

Like a dolphin, she disappeared into the murkiness.

Amazement. On the opposite shore, she danced and waved.

Encouraging us to be brave.

Confusion. My friend and I just stared at each other.

Finding a safer way across, I druther.

I walked away in search of that passage.

To discover; in my search, the water was receding. To the bridge, it caused no damage.

Relief. Across the bridge I traversed,

to find my bestie first.

The stairs, I did ascend.

The climb; my will, it did not bend.

Caution. What is this? A rope ladder?

Every other rung was broken. This made me sadder.

But, I would not be stopped.

Onto the mess, I hopped.

Unsure and unsteadily, I did climb.

One misstep, would ring my chime.

Afraid. Was I slipping? I wasn’t sure.

I woke with a start, my dream was no more.

All my scenery was brown.

Praise the Lord, none of us drown.

Transparent was the water pressing against my window.

I think; maybe, I even saw a minnow.

My comforter was dark blue. Other than brown,

no other colors could be foun.

The end

Pumpkin DIY

My bestie and I went to a craft fair. Lots of people were selling fabric covered pumpkins. They were beautiful but $30.00 a pop. I support independent local. Though; I have to do it on a budget. I looked at my bestie and said, “we can make those”. She grinned with the reply, “you might can”. So I set out to ‘make’ one. The ones at the fair were fabric. I couldn’t find any fabric I liked. This is a napkin.

What you will need: (all came from the Dollar Tree) a carvable foam pumpkin, napkins cut into strips, twine,decorative sprigs, decorations, gun & sticks, craft paint brushes and lots of mod podge. Okay not everything came from the DT. I craft all the time. The glue gun/stick, mod podge, and brushes I had on hand.)

Instructions: hold pumpkin by the little stem. It’s super short but you can do it. Use the paint brushes to spread glue on the pumpkin. Spread as you go. If you do a super spreader event, your glue will dry out before you get your napkin down. Start at the stem and work your way down toward the bottom. I used the paint brush to gently work the napkin over the foam and into the groves, and covered the napkin with clue as I worked my way around. Covering the napkin as you work your way around helps when you lay down your next piece of napkin. Now if the design on your pumpkin has to be perfect, 🤔 you might be in for a little more stress than you bargained for. To make sure your pumpkin is truly covered, you may want to use generic pattern. Completely cover the pumpkin and let dry. A canning ring turned upside down was perfect to set the pumpkin on (overnight) while it dried. Yeah, we dabble in canned as well. The napkins I chose had a light brown stripe along the bottom. I cut that off. Cut it into little pieces and glued it to the stem. Use the same method as you did with the body of your pumpkin. Next up, cut you twine in stripes long enough to go from the top to the bottom of your pumpkin. I used hot glue to secure them at the top and bottom but mod podge down the sides, working the twine into the groves. Let dry. With all this grove work, I couldn’t decide of ‘I got my grove back’ or if it was to ‘shake my grove thing’? 😂 Shaking could have turned into a lot more work than I bargained for. You can gather the excess twine at the bottom of the pumpkin. If you do; remember, no one likes a wobbly pumpkin. Use you glue gun to decorate the top of your pumpkin however you like. Let dry.

By the time I was finished; remember when you were in school and you discovered that letting glue dry on your skin then peeling it off felt weird? You thought maybe that was what it felt like for your skin to peel off? I had lots of this happening. Lot’s of glue strings and glitter.

Total cost was $6.25 plus KY sales tax at 6%. And the added entertainment value. Mr. Fall Gnome came from Aldi.

Happy crafting. My modo is “if I can make it, I ain’t buying it”.

Nostalgia Tree

Stop the Clatter

Shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

Shouldn’t have said a word.

Should have kept it bottled inside the way I always do.

I didn’t want a lecture.

I didn’t want a speech.

I wanted someone to listen to me.

Someone to vent to.

Someone to let the pressure out to.

Someone to just listen to me.

Seems I didn’t get that.

Seems I just got more pressure.

Seems like nothing ever changes.

Taken from ‘The Reconstruction of Me’. A collection of poems I started in the early 2,000’s. Not a published book.

Your Disability

This was written almost a month apart. Our prayer group does Thankful Thursday’s; this was 2 of mine.

“Your Disability”

I’ve never considered myself disabled. Yeah, those doctor reports come. But I do. And keep on doing. It must be done. About 10 years ago or so, I was diagnosed with tinnitus (ringing in the ear). It’s not very severe. It sounds like standing under a high voltage electric line. A sizzling static noise in my head 24/7. I say not severe because this can be horrible. To the point that people have committed suicide because they can’t deal with the noise. I am not to that point.

My hearing has been affected. I remember about 5 years ago doing a hearing test. When it was all over, I looked at the doctor and asked, “those were supposed to be identical weren’t they? Each ear should have heard the same thing?” They were not even close. Currently there is no cure for tinnitus. Mostly because doctors really don’t understand it. Soldiers experience it a lot. Musicians, construction workers. I am none of those.

What prompted me to go to the doctor is it was taking spells of getting louder. I would be laying in the bed and the sizzling would turn into frying. Nope!

There’s an app for that. Yes there is. The one I use is ReSound Relief. I downloaded it from the Mayo Clinic. It hasn’t helped relieve my tinnitus overall but it does mask the static to help me sleep from time to time.

I was referred to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Who told me about a program through Occupational Vocational Rehabilitation. Like I said, I go and do. With a slight adjustment here. A tweek there. I watch peoples lips when they talk. I watch tv with the closed caption on. If my surroundings are noisy, forget having a conversation.

I applied on a lark. I’m not that bad. Other people are worse than me. Right? I’m okay.

I’m a ‘this isn’t going to happen’ person.Whatever the reason might be. They aren’t going to help me.

I’m eligible for this program! I only need one hearing aid for my left ear. Wow! Knock me over with God’s feather.

Paperwork signed.

Now I wait. Wait for the other shoe to drop. Surprise, you can’t really have it.

Nov. 22nd, I go for my fitting. Maybe the other shoe isn’t going to drop?

Sometimes I feel like God pulls us kicking and screaming to where he wants us to be. When doctors started talking about hearing aids, I bristled like a porcupine. I didn’t need a hearing aid. It’s this buzzing in my head that needs to go. But I caved. I got the hearing aid. And in the process found a doctor who’s speciality is tinnitus. She listened to what I had to say. Answered my questions about how was a hearing aid really going to help? And for the first time said, “we will work on a plan”. There is no current cure for tinnitus. But I felt encouraged about it for the first time. Thank you God for dragging me along. Even if I was kicking and screaming. You know what’s best for me. I sure don’t.