Dragon
Sunshine Valley
The worst
Worst! She turned her head finally looking at him. He was watching her. “Worst?” She was shocked. A trimmer rippled through her.
“Worst.” He restated. “Why dad sent me to summer camp I have no idea.”
“Really? The worst?” All of a sudden her throat was really dry.
He shook his head yes.
She looked down at the rustic flooring. “I was so mad at you. You promised to write me. Every day I would skip down to the mailbox praying for a letter from you. I would shuffle the mail with youthful anticipation knowing that today would be the day you would send me a letter. And everyday I was heartbroken that I didn’t get one. I cried and cried. By the end of the summer, I had written you off. You were no longer my friend.” She waved her arm in a pushing motion to show how she was pushing him away before resting it back on her lap. “I was so mad at you, hurt, angry, and sad. I never will forget the day before you came back it rained. It was raining so hard that I wouldn’t go check the mail.”
She had just broken his heart. “What made you think of that summer?” His voice was a whisper.
She just shook her head. “Maybe all of this. The past.” She didn’t say another word. She was staring off into her private space again. Lost in her world.
“Evie,” her face was so soft. “Come back.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek. He wiped it away as quickly as it had fallen.
They didn’t say another word. He just sat there with her. Just to be there if she needed him.
Just incase.
Bugs worked out
With God’s help, I think I have all the bugs worked out. Allow me to explain.
I have always been jealous of people who knew from the time they could express the concept, what they wanted to be when they grew up.
A few years ago, I started a blog. What better way to share with a group of like minded individuals? I was so scared that I’d get made fun of. Discounted. Or ripped to shreds. So far, that hasn’t happened. Even some of the more Christian centered works I’ve shared have been received.
Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Anna Rice are the exceptions to the rule. People who have gotten famous; dare I say rich, ‘cause they love to write.
As I am finding material to go on my blog, I discovered a poem written in the 8th grade. A story written in high school. So have I always wanted to be a writer?
Honestly, my grammar sucks. My sentence structure is deplorable, at best. Sometimes I feel like Salieri in Amadeus. The desire exists but not the talent. Talent (laughable), what talent? When we talk about God given talents, I zone out. Again I ask, what talent?
So what’s a girl to do? Keep praying? Keep trying? Neither? Both? There is no need for me to tell you rejection hurts. On any level. I’m sure you’ve heard it so many times it’s ad nauseam at this point.
The number of times I’ve cried out to God are uncountable. By me.
With all of this backstory, I published my first book on Amazon KDP. A book of poetry. Through all the nerves, rewrites, corrections, God has been holding my hand.
I’m not going to share with you a link to the book in this post. It’s not about that. It’s about listening to God. Working through the doubt. Trying not to hold onto the rejection. God’s achievement has been 50 years in the making. While I didn’t bill this book as a book of Christian poetry. Only 2 or 3 of them are directly about faith. God is allover it. Working every step of the way.
Don’t give up on God. He hasn’t given up on you.
Sunshine Valley
The past
“Evie, when you left here to go find whatever it was you wanted to find, I never left you. Every chance I got, I watched the two of you show and compete. I would bring your dad to the meets. One day, you two were winnin’, the next day, you were gone.”
It was a long time before Evie said anything. “That’s what he did first. He sold my horse. He knew me well enough to know that I would get rid of everything associated with her. I sent everything I had home to dad that had anything to do with my riding days. There was nothing in my life to remind me of her. Nothing but memories.”
Dillon held the gate open for her, “come in.”
Evie entered the pen. They walked in silence toward the barn.
“She has a big area to play in.”
“Play she does.” He sighed, “and fuss with me.” Teka ran past Dillon and pushed him forward. “See what I mean.”
Once they were in the barn, she noticed the trailer she bought for Teka. The trailer her dad came and got full of memories.
Dillon showed her up to the top level of the barn. There were all the boxes she had loaded into the horse trailer. Box after box of ribbons, trophies, pictures, newspaper articles, and memories.
She fell to her knees, “Dillon what are you doing with all of my stuff?”
He sat down behind her so that if she did fall backwards he could catch her. “Your dad thought it was only fittin’ for her stuff to follow her.” He paused for a moment. “I only opened one box, after I realized what it was, I sealed it back up and here it has been.” He was very nervous.
She just knelt there not knowing how to feel. One moment she was angry. Angry at the world. Angry with her ex-husband. Angry at her dad. Angry with Dillon. Just plain angry. Then she was overtaken by sadness. A sadness that consumed her heart.
He wanted to console her but didn’t know how. Didn’t know if he would say the right thing or the wrong thing and just end up hurting her more. So he chose not to say a word.
“I guess I owe you an apology.”
He was confused for a moment. A wrinkle crossed his brow. “Why?”
“You really do need a truck that big.” Her voice was so monotone. So without flavor, not like her at all.
A smile crossed his lips in spite of himself. “All is forgiven.” What he really wanted to say was all is forgiven my love. But knew he couldn’t.
She was staring off into space or so he thought. “Do you remember the summer before we started high school?”
“Oh yeah,” he sighed. “How could I forget it? It was the worst summer of my life.”
Back to the drawing board
Sometimes we make things way harder than they have to be. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. It works amazingly as is. But because we are human; we want to make it better.
For those of you that read my work, I published my first work on KDP. There is an idea rolling around in my brain for a series of children’s picture books. So let’s get started. Right?
Originally, I had Google pictures print these. And dare I say, they were lovely. But not complete books. And not in a format where the public could find them.
Up loading the e-book, it’s okay but no where near as nice as the original Google photo book. Oh, the paperback broke my heart. Not only couldn’t I do the images in color. KDP wanted 72 pages for a completely color paperback. The images were distorted and (dare I say) gross.
I left the e-book live but unpublished the paperback. Until I can get it looking more like the way I want it.
A fellow blogger suggested Atticus. https://dawnpisturino.wordpress.com/ And I’ve learned that KDP offers templates. So, I’m gonna try to find those next.
This has truly been a learning experience. I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel. Just trying to learn.
Sunshine Valley
Teka
“Hey sheriff,” Danny called. “When u gonna sell me that horse?”
“Never,” Dillon barked in his true gruff fashion.
Or so Rebecca thought, hateful man.
“Come on man. You can’t keep her at home.” Dillon raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve got to treat your horse like you treat your woman. You’ve got to break her spirit and teach her where home is.”
A loud boo erupted from the women at the table.
“Daniel!” Mr. Rice growled.
Evie glanced at Dillon.
“Could this be why you’re still single?” He didn’t smile or give any sign that he was enjoying this conversation, he just stared at Evie.
Everyone started laughing.
“You would know about being single wouldn’t you?” Danny fired back.
“Yelp, but I don’t live in my parents basement, do I?”
“Man, that was a low blow.”
Dillon was still staring at Evie.
“Come on man, sell me that horse.”
Dillon whirled around on his seat. The horse that hated him so much was happily munchin’ on the Ledbetter’s clover. “I swear that horse hates me.”
Danny erupted with laughter. “All the more reason to sell her to me.”
Mr. Rice noticed the elegant Trakehner in the yard. But Evie was busy talkin’ to Widow Blake at this point. Widow Blake wouldn’t let anyone notice the world around them.
“Evie,” Mr. Rice called to her.
“Yes dad?”
DAD! Rebecca nearly choked. DAD! She didn’t think people could keep a secret in a small town but by ned they had managed to keep this one.
He pointed with a shaky finger toward the fence.
Bradley was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.
Evie looked around Dillon and her heart stopped. She turned pale. Dillon finally turned around. He watched her as she got up and walked around the table. “Breathe Evie.” He encouraged her.
“How’d that horse get in my yard?” Rebecca asked.
“Jumped and walked.” Evie answered as if Rebecca was stupid.
Everyone was watching her.
Suddenly, Dillon didn’t have to worry about tellin’ Evie about Teka. The horse did it for him.
“Hi baby girl.” Evie almost cried.
The horse stopped munchin’ and gave her a sideways glance.
Evie kept talking to the horse.
She snorted and started walking toward Evie.
“Hello Teka. Hello beautiful.
Evie was standing far enough away from the table so if Teka started a fuss no one would get hurt.
Teka walked very slowly toward her, sniffing every step of the way.
“Look at you. Someone’s taken good care of you.”
Teka continued to sniff and snort. Her chestnut mane shimmered with each flick of her throat.
Teka let Evie pet her. “I’ve missed you.” Evie started to cry. She went over every inch of the horse with her hands. To everyone’s amazement, this seemingly wild horse stood perfectly still while Evie examined her. “My beautiful horse. I never should have let you go.”
Teka turned her head toward Evie and snorted. It was as if she knew what Evie was saying.
“I’m sorry girl. Really I am.” She stood up; “looks like both of us have been through a bad patch.”
Hmm, bad patch. Rebecca’s thoughts wondered about what it could mean.
Teka snorted again.
“That’s my girl.” Evie rubbed her face some more. “You need to go home.”
Teka snorted and nickered.
“Home with me.” Danny shouted.
“For the millionth time, no.” Dillon didn’t even turn around to look at him.
Teka started to walk and Evie began following her, “good girl.”
Dillon went to get his truck. Evie and Teka walked down the road and Dillon followed beside of them.
“Dillon, how long have you had her?”
“I’m not shore.”
“Tell me how you found her.”
They turned to go up a long driveway surrounded by white fences. To Evie’s amazement, it was half a mile from her house. She turned around and could see the end of her white picket fence.
“I don’t know how but your dad bought her.”
“And you?”
“Teka belongs to your dad. She just lives here.”
She didn’t know what to say. This was something her and her dad needed to talk about. “My poor girl. I’m sorry.” Evie turned and petted her again. She brushed her nose against Evie’s shoulder.
“She really understands you.”
“We’ve known each other for a while.” Evie opened a gate and Teka walked into her pen. Dillon was now standing beside her. “You need to make this fence at least six feet high.”
“Why?”
“That’s the highest she’s ever jumped.”
Dillon was confused, “okay.”
“How did she get out of the pen?” Evie offered up a quick question.
“Good question. If I find a break in the fence, I’ll let you know.”
“You won’t.” She sighed, “I can’t believe you have her.” They just stood by the gate watching Teka strut her stuff.
Where the wind blows
Flap, flap, flap,
pushed and pulled like a flag on it’s pole.
~
Blow, blow, blow,
around, down and back like a plastic bag you go.
~
Up, up, up,
where is the feather carried on a breeze?
~
Down, down, down,
roots planted by a seed in a far away ground.
~
Cover, cover, cover,
ever surface covered by dust generated every where.
~
Side, side, side,
to side, run! Try to catch that leaf.
~
Blow, blow, blow,
blow wind blow.
Sunshine Valley
Dinner
Evie took her time changing after church. She strolled out of her house humming the song she had sung. Okay, she thought as a late model big black quad cab dually truck was pulling into her driveway. It must have been one of the original quad cabs. The windows were as black as the truck. She was a little afraid. Chill bumps ran down her spine.
He stopped short of her when he realized she was staring a hole through him. “What?” She didn’t say anything. “Evie?”
She finally saw him. Really saw him and not her ex-husband. “Sorry.” She smirked.
“Evie?” Dillon was confused, her reaction concerned him.
“I’m okay.” She smiled.
“Evie?”
“I couldn’t see inside your windows and had no idea of who might be inside so my mind started running scenarios on me.”
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I should have called first. I didn’t mean anything.” All of a sudden he felt like a heel.
“No, it’s okay. You had no idea and really neither did I.” She continued staring at the truck.
“What?” She cocked her head to one side. “Evie?”
She threw up her hand pointing at the truck. “I really pray you have a farm or a ranch.”
He gave her a devious grin. “Why?”
“Because you’re suckin’ off half the worlds resources with that monster. I say only people with work to do warrant a truck like that.”
He chuckled, “what if I don’t have a farm or a ranch?”
“Then you’re a selfish person Dillon Pace.” She teased. “And I don’t remember you being selfish.
They walked toward the Ledbetter’s house together. The Ledbetter’s driveway and yard were littered with vehicles.
“So tell me,” he spoke. “Does a single gal really need such a big car?”
“My car’s not big.” She stopped in the middle of the road.
“It’s bigger than one person needs.” He was grinning from ear to ear. “Followin’ your logic, a single person needs a car designed for one or two people. Your car is designed for four.”
“Five,” she corrected him. “You’re just trying to be an ellic because I’ve bruised your pride.”
“Ya think?” He couldn’t stop smiling.
“Look here mister, my car gets 28 to 30 miles a gallon. I have a 4-cylinder engine. And she has a 14 gallon gas tank. How many miles does your monster get per gallon?”
“If you must know, I average 13.”
“My point is made.” She turned to continue walking toward her neighbor’s house.
Dillon had to fight hard to control the urge to grab her and kiss her. She looked so sexy mad. But, she really wasn’t mad. He told himself. She was playing and he liked it.
The Ledbetter’s backyard was filled with people. Della had set up her long table that she was known for. Other than her food of course.
Dillon couldn’t stop this feeling of freedom he felt. He wondered if it showed? But only for a minute. As long as he could be near Evie, he didn’t care.
Everyone sat down to eat. Dillon sat across from Evie. His back was toward the fence separating his property from the Ledbetter’s. As far as he knew, they didn’t know who owned it. The sun beating down on his back and the wonderful company sitting across from him made him feel more relaxed than he’d ever felt before. Or felt in a long time? She really was here. He couldn’t stop looking at her.
The crowd was laughing, talking, and eating. They were oblivious to how he felt and he was really enjoying it.
He took a glance at Evie’s plate. She had gotten a small amount, maybe a teaspoon worth of 5 of the side dishes but none of the meat. Was she a vegetarian? An upward glance told him he was caught, by Mr. Rice. Dillon thought the old man was about to cry. He shook his head with a heavy sadness. Maybe vegetarian was a poor guess?
What do you think?
What positive emotion do you feel most often?
Burning paper
Burning paper
breaks apart, sending glowing flakes into the air
pushed by the heat of the fire
caught on a gentle breeze
~
Burning paper
floating here
floating there
with a glowing heart, softly into the night
~
Burning paper
glowing spark
transfixed eyes on that spot
floating softly
~
Burning paper
down you come
what was once a glowing ember
becomes dimmer
~
Burning paper
just like what was written on your pages
soon will be gone
with the spark goes the heat
passion extinguished on burning paper
*
burning papers
burning papersat campfiresseeking lethein ash & smokerising to nightno more heroesno more wordsno morethat last gunslingerdied in a poolof his own …
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