Winter Season

Poem

Oscar had left for work. Esther yawned and stretched herself to the bathroom. She noticed a notebook on the back of the commode. Oscar was leaving little things at her house. This notebook for example. Was this the proper way of easing into having someone live with you? A little at a time? Or should she shoo him out until they were married so they could just jump in with both feet?

“Why would he want to live with me? She questioned to herself as she sat down on the commode. “His house is bigger. I’m sure he has his house just the way he wants things. Why do men always have reading material in the bathroom?” She wondered, thumbing through the pages.

The page read:

Shrinking out of sight

Last night as I was laying in my bed; trying to go to sleep, I remember from my youth a dream.

It concerned me to the point of a scream.

~

I remember all the objects seemed to get bigger.

The reverse in me, trigger.

~

Shrinking always.

Objects growing. Me shrinking. Fear, explore the ways.

~

Felt weird. Strange.

Maybe I was deranged?

~

Smaller. And smaller. Shrinking out of sight.

Always I woke myself, with all my might.

~

Where was I going?

With me, my dreams were toying?

~

Multiple times over my youth this dream did appear.

Always creating in me a fear.

~

Fear of what?

I forgot.

~

Disappearing? Maybe I felt like no one cared?

Scared?

~

Maybe I felt like the world was too big?

Life was a rig?

~

A cheat?

Something I couldn’t beat.

~

An illusion?

Was this my final conclusion?

~

As an adult,I haven’t had that dream.

What could it all mean?

2022

As they sat down to dinner she said, “I owe you an apology.”

He was stunned, “for?”

“You left a notebook in the bathroom and I read some of it.”

He knew she would find it. Maybe he wanted her to? Maybe he wanted to share this part of his life with her too. “What did you think?”

“How long have you been writing poetry?”

“All my life.”

“You should start a blog. You should share this.”

“No one is interested in reading my..” What was the word? He lost it.

She said sweetly, “I know you didn’t mean to share this with me. It would give me great pleasure to read your work.”

He looked deep into her eyes. She was being sincere. She wasn’t making fun of him. “It’s another one of those things Oat uses to call me ‘one of dem homos’.”

“That’s his loss because you have talent. Have you ever entered any contests?”

“Heavens no.” He gruffed his voice, “you’re a science teacher Mr. Patterson.”

“Please tell me no one said that to you.”

He gave her a sideways grin. “They haven’t.”

“But it was a hurtful comment about something and it plays through your mind.”

“Yeah.”

“How often did you have that dream?”

“Maybe once a month.”

“It sounds like it was disconcerting.”

“It was.”

Waste not. Want not: I notta.

Write about your approach to budgeting.

This poem is being written in stages to highlight the things I do toward frugal living.

~

I notta.

I think it was 2019 or 20’ when I joined Ibotta.

I don’t buy a lot of name brand products.

The cost difference isn’t (typically) worth the bucks.

$20 in 4 years.

For me, this app was not as it appears.

~

I said a bad word didn’t I? In a ‘I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.’ world of capitalism, I said a bad word, FRUGAL.

As stated in my little poem above, I downloaded the Ibotta app. A co-worker told me all about it. Showed me all the rebates she was getting. So I thought, I’ll give it a whirl. Because I rarely buy named brand products, the ‘$20 in 4 years’ is what it took me.

When my bestie and I go out shopping together; I have a saying, ‘when in doubt, don’t.’ From shoes to soap, if I have the slightest concern about a product, 95% of the time, I’m not buying it.

I did splurge for my birthday and bought myself this beautiful Patricia Nash purse. Even on sale it was a splurge. Earth Nerds unite. 😉

But I’m not him… ?!

I am who I am.

There’s nothing wrong with me.

Take me as I am.

Or don’t take me at all.

I’d rather be alone in my castle,

than to share a hovel with you.

I am perfect.

I am.

I…..

You come to my way of thinking.

Screw meeting in the middle.

Compromise is for losers.

~

But I’m perfect.

Don’t you see.

I give.

And I give.

No one gives to me.

Meet me on my terms.

When it’s best for me.

Look at all I have.

I give.

And I give.

No one gives to me.

~

You sound just like my mother.

There’s nothing wrong with the way I drive.

Big deal if I scare you.

I will not change who I am.

I am perfect.

I am.

I.

A poetic conversation 2024

https://utahan15.wordpress.com

Thankful Thursday: 2-15-24

I always have so many things to be grateful for. Don’t always express them publicly like I should. The glory always belongs to God. Today, I’m shouting and dancing (only in my head).

Monday, (against my will) was kicked out of the exclusive NOVID Club. Covid kicked down my door. Broke down my defenses and River Danced its way through my immune system.

I am grateful it happened this way. It could have been so much worse. An illness that has taken so many lives and damaged thousands more has left me missing a week of work. And Covid Mouth. I can drink out of a straw. 🙌🏻

The 48 hour CDC suggested window of exposure has closed. To my knowledge, no one that I was in contact with Saturday or Sunday has contracted this uninvited guest. God is magnificent!

This little diddy has reminded me that yes, we are all different. Those symptoms that we have all read about and are familiar with don’t happen to everyone. I didn’t loose my sense of taste or smell. Sunday the delicious smell of cooking roast filled every corner of my besties house. And tasted as good as it smelt. No sore throat. This was just another sinus infection. WRONG!

It really was all in my head. And now, my mouth.

If more symptoms come sneaking out of the woodwork, God’s got this right in the palm of his hands.

Thank you for the prayers.

Thank God!

Waste not. Want not: gloves

This poem is being written in stages to highlight the things I do toward frugal living.

Every now and then, you just need a pair of gloves.
Plastic, cloth, rubber, nasty projects not sent from above.

I’m not ready to go totally gray. What is included in every dye kit, what do you get?
Plastic gloves, clean them, then put them away to sit.

Until that nasty project rears its ugly head.
Enough said.

The depth of love

Does love equal respect?

Does love equal compassion?

Or is love an over exaggerated emotion for human exploitation?

~

Tennyson says ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’.

Did he find hope in the notion that love itself is a miracle?

What does a love, that someone would grieve for 17 years feel like?

~

The Taj Mahal was built by order of the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan in memory of his favorite wife.

Construction started in 1632 AD and was completed in 1648 AD.

What does a love like that feel like?

~

The Song of Solomon is a lyric poem written to extol the virtues of love by King Solomon and is in the Bible.

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.”

The complete Bible has been translated into approximately 700 languages and sold over an estimated 100 million copies each year.

What does a love like that feel like?

~

*”I do believe love is like the fuel for our spirits journey.. that which propels our flesh.”

Is this why Adam defied God and ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge?

You defy the maker of heaven and earth because the ‘flesh propels you too’?

What does a love like that feel like?

~

Love that shows respect.

Love to hold your secrets.

Love to help you grow.

What does a love like that feel like?

~

Is the best to hope for a love that; once a year gives you flowers and chocolate?

Not because love compels you but because capitalism told you so?

And emotion not un-a-kin to lust to drive you to destruction and despair?

I know what a love like that feels like.

~

*Bois d’ arc aka Lions Mane, A poetic conversation, 2024.

The Bible

https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-languages-that-the-Bible-has-yet-to-be-translated-into

https://www.quora.com/Do-you-have-any-statistics-on-how-many-Bibles-were-sold-last-year-worldwide

Taj Mahal – UNESCO World Heritage Centre

Legacy of stupidity: you’re not cute or funny

If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?

How I came up with this title? WordPress/Jetpack does daily writing prompts. The question was: what is the legacy you want to leave behind? (May 24th, 2023) At the point this was written, I had no legacy as it were. No children to pass on my particular set of genes. No foundation to leave behind money that would positively impact anyone’s life. Just a few words written down in a blog. An attempt to stop the words swirling in my brain. An attempt to say the things I didn’t have the courage to say. Express emotions that I utterly hate.

Yeah, it stuck.

Winter Season

Are violets really blue?

There was an envelope attached to his front door. There was a picture of her house. The back read:

Roses are red.

Are violets really blue?

Come on over,

something is waiting for you.

On her front door was another envelope. The picture was of her back porch. The back read:

It’s getting dark,

which means it’s getting colder.

Follow my clue,

you might smolder.

What was she up to? He smiled as he walked around the house to her back door. There was another envelope. Inside was a picture of the lake. He almost fell down the steps as he ran to his vehicle.

The first thing he noticed when he got to the lake was her jeep. In all the excitement, he hadn’t paid attention that it wasn’t parked in her driveway. She got out as he did. “Come here my dear.” He did. She opened the back door laying a rubber mat on the ground. “I’ll take your coat.” With wonderment, he gave her the knee length trench coat he wore to work. She gave him the everyday coat that he kept behind the door. “Your gloves.” He was full of curiosity. This was exciting. She pulled out a pair of boots he kept by the door. He slipped off his dress shoes. That’s what the rubber mat was for. So he wouldn’t get his feet muddy changing shoes. Then she gave him a thicker pair of gloves, boggin, and a scarf.

He followed her down to the lake where she had a camp fire going. Stew cooking over the flame. What looked like a sleeping bag was laying on the ground to sit on. She had thought of everything. Even some daisies in a vase. He wanted to cry but was afraid his tears would freeze.

“This is nice.” He was smiling from ear to ear.

“Yeah.” She clapped.

They sat there in the cold, under the stars, eating, talking. “This is so nice.” He hugged her up.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

She had changed into her p.j.s, when there came a knock at her door. “Come in.” Oscar just stood there for a moment. “What’s wrong?” Concern filled her voice.

He took off his coat. “Reach your hand into my pocket.”

“Which one?” She asked playfully.

“I’m not gonna tell.”

She watched his face has she slid her hand into his pocket. He wanted so badly for her to touch him. But she was doing everything she could not too. The deeper she got, he closed his eyes. She whispered close to his ear. “There’s nothing in that pocket.”

“Guess you’d better try the other one.” His mouth was dry.

She did the same thing. Slowly, lowering her hand. Deliberately not touching him. When he felt her touch the box he said, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“O, it’s beautiful.” Big tears welled up in her eyes. She had never really gotten a Valentine present before. “Put it on me.”

It was his pleasure. He took his time. After he fixed the necklace, he trailed his hands across her shoulders and down her arms.

The last thing he wanted to do was go home. “Will you sit on the couch with me and talk ?”

For a moment, she thought he was slipping back into that place.

They sat down. Only one of the lamps was on. Esther was; before he interrupted, going to bed. He sat down first opening his arms for her. She slid into place, snuggling into her favorite spot.

“Esther,” he whispered. A wave of nausea over took him. He was going to be sick.

“Yes dear,” she replied.

Those voices inside him were fighting. With a deep breath for courage here it came, “will you marry me?”

She didn’t move. Which terrified him. You shouldn’t have said it. But you did. Fool.

Dear God, Esther prayed, let me get this right. “Oscar, I’m not saying no. I’m saying not now. Not until the thing I can’t talk about is resolved. If you are willing to wait, I would be honored to be your wife,” she paused. “Someday.”

He hugged her up, “I’ll wait.”

“It might take years.” Her voice cracked.

“I’ll wait.”

The prize

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

Are you willing to find the prize hidden inside.

Are you able to fine where a future resides?

~

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

A story fit for generations.

A depth seeking penetration.

~

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

A kind word. A gentle art.

No games. None from the start.

~

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

Cynical, down trodden, non-believer.

Show me a path, hand me the transceiver.

~

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

Are you willing to find the prize hidden inside.

Or will I stay in this frozen state forever, denied?

~

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

Sounds like too much work?

Too much mire and murk?

~

Melt me.

Set me free.

~

Show me what you bring to the table.

If you are willing and able.

~

Melt me.

We can set each other free.

~

Show me what a true partnership can be.

Melt me. Set me free.

http://livingpoetry.net/2024/02/12/monday-poetry-prompt-love-3/