Clawing at heaven

As I kneel at your feet,

fog clouds my mind. 

You left me here. 

The fullness of time achieved.

The agony of remembering, my future.

I pound the earth with clinched fists.

Unable to feel its damp coolness. 

Consumed by the vast empty. 

The deafening silence left by your wake.

My fists ache.

But it’s something else to feel, 

feel other than my broken soul.

Wet tears burn my face

as they fall effortlessly.

Creating mud for my tortured hands.

Why?

Why have you left me here,

to feel such sorrow?

Strength fails my arms 

from the fury of my desperation.

Perhaps if I dig?

Dig!

Grit beneath my broken nails.

Dig until the skin is gone. 

The pain could be no worse than my shattered world. 

My body is drained of all energy;

flopping forward to meet the relentless ground.

Perhaps, by sure will, I could touch you one more time. 

Lay my forehead against yours.

Now cradled by the unforgiving clay. 

Feel your breath brush my ear. 

The delicate tips of your fingers electrifying my skin. 

My lips hungry to taste yours.

The memory of your scent fills my nose. 

As I rise to my knees, 

my calves cramp from the strain.

My toes curl, 

second nature to them now. 

I needed one more day.

One more hour.

One more minute.

One more second!

Just one more.

But you extinguished my release.

One more, gone forever.

Some where from the abyss, 

finding courage to scream.

“How could you leave me?!

Come back!

Come back to me!

Don’t leave me here clawing at heaven!”

*My poem came into being from reading Moraine. This is where I read, ‘clawing at heaven’.

Moraine chapter 3