Winter Season

That kiss

It was almost midnight before they stopped and took a shower, Oscar laid on the couch. He opened his arms for her. She smiled at him, “no.”

It broke his heart. ‘No’. But she was smiling, he told himself.

“Lay on the other side.” He did as she had asked and changed his position on the couch. Then she slid into him. “That’s better. I can hear your heart beat stronger from this side.” She snuggled in closer.

“Would you like to go to church with me Sunday? The preacher hasn’t called it off yet”

“I don’t think I ever asked; where do you go?”

“Corner Baptist.”

That warmth he felt when she was around grew stronger. His mother only sucked it away for a little while. Could it be that Esther was stronger than his mother? That the feelings he was developing for her could heal him? No, she couldn’t heal him. That was too much to lay at someone’s door. She could help him but it was up to him to heal himself.

“Please don’t be mad at Chet.”

“I’m never mad at him for very long.”

“Or me.”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“That exchange with your mother.”

“Sweetheart, no way.”

She smiled to herself, he called her sweetheart.

He thought he concealed a moan as the tugging in his groin got stronger and he shifted under her. He felt her raise up slightly. When he opened his eyes, she was staring at him. With his free hand, he stroked her face, “what?”

She placed a soft delicate kiss on his lips. His whole body was a live wire of erotic nerves. She put her hand at the back of his head and guided it toward her, only stopping when they were nose to nose. He freed his other hand and slowly directed it up her back under her shirt. He stopped just short of where she needed him too. She drew her breath through her teeth. Oscar reached up to kiss her. He tried to pour all of the emotions he felt into a single kiss.

The kiss was breath taking. Esther felt his desperate passion, his need, his hunger, the pounding of his heart against her lips. He explored the depths of his desire with a kiss. She allowed him at first, and then answered with her own desires. She came up for air panting, “another kiss like that and I could become the whore of Babylon.” She placed one hand on either side of his head and stared at his parted lips. She met him with another soft kiss. He took his hands down her back to the ample cheeks of her butt and pushed her into his body. She could feel one measure of a man.

He squeezed her butt several times before pushing her into him harder still. “We both need a cold shower.” She hissed.

“No,” he whispered. “Let’s just lay here.” He kissed her again, that same desperate passionate need. She was about to fly apart.

“O,” she whimpered.

“Yes.”

She cuddled into her favorite spot, in the bend of his arm, with her head on his chest, listening to his racing heartbeat.

Their cuddle session was interrupted by his phone. When he hung up, he held Esther closer, “no church Sunday.”

“I was getting ready to ask, ‘who calls at one o’clock in the morning?”

“Our preacher has interesting habits.”

Winter Season

Winter Season

Language

PSB

“Folks, I’ve gotta go. Esther, that was amazing. Keep up the good work. Paranoid Schizophrenic bitch.” Chet let himself out.

Oscar disappeared.

She waited a little while before she went to find him. He was in what appeared to be a den. There was a single yellow light coming from a lamp in the corner. This is where all the clutter was and a t.v. The walls were lined with books, c.d.’s, dvd’s, records, he was sitting on a love seat slumped over with his head in his hands.

“Oscar,” she whispered as she knelt in front of him, “are you okay?”

“I can’t do this anymore.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

He looked directly into Esther’s eyes. He was almost to the point of crying, his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. “Why, why does she do this to me? Why?”

“To embarrass you and manipulate you into getting what she wants. The harder you pull against her wishes the harder she pushes. She knows that you are a Christian and she’s using religion against you. As it were.”

“I can’t take it. I can’t do it.” He held out his hands and they were shaking.

She held his hands in hers. “Tell me what you are most upset about?”

“All that talk about masturbation. It would humiliate anyone. Tell me one man that hasn’t done that.”

“I can’t.”

“Why did she have to bring that up in front of you?”

“She’s trying to run me off.”

“And why did Chet have to say ‘Paranoid Schizophrenic bitch’. That makes it real. That makes me feel like my dirty laundry is hanging out there for you to see.” He flailed his hands around in the air. “Lookie here, my mom is paranoid schizophrenic that means Oscar is crazy too.”

“Honey, look at me.” He did as she asked. “My dad committed suicide. That doesn’t make me crazy. Just because our parents have mental health issues, that doesn’t mean that we have them.”

“Do you know how many nights I have worried that one morning I’m going to wake up and be crazy too?”

“On a different level, yes.” And if I may add, “being sick doesn’t give someone the right to be mean. Too many people feel like being ill gives them a license to be overly aggressive and odious.”

She couldn’t tell if what she said had any effect. He seemed so lost.

Finally – he huffed, “let’s go back over and work, maybe it will help take my mind off this.”

“As you wish.”

Winter Season

I really am the king

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

My new mom and I had a rocky start. But 8 years later, we are rock solid. I tried to run away. Did run away for 2 days. Gave mom quiet the scare. I jumped in the bed. Used the bathroom in the house. Once I figured out this was my new home, it’s all been good.

Winter Season

Bad examples

Esther cocked her head to one side, “and where does it say that?”

“In Genesis, masturbation is a sin.” She puffed out her chest, proud of her answer.

“Indeed.” Esther rubbed her hands together, “I just love it how people take one passage and run with it. First of all that passage in the Bible is about Onan; he was asked to sleep with his brother’s wife and give her and heir. But he didn’t want to. He did sleep with her but emitted his seed on the ground. That has nothing to do with masturbation. In case you’re not aware, masturbation is self-pleasure. This one man’s actions found displeasure with God and he killed him. No masturbation involved.”

“You’re wrong. It is a sin!” Pam slammed her hand down on the table.

Oscar flinched.

“I never said it wasn’t as sin. But the example you gave is a stretch at best. If you want to preach a point that it’s a sin use a better example, like Galatian 5:16 and if you want to use children as a blessing use Psalms 127 3:5. Don’t use poor examples.”

Esther discretely put her hand on Oscar’s thigh. He placed his hand over hers, squeezing it slightly. She could tell that he was getting agitated; his leg under her hand quivered. She figured this was his mother’s goal.

Chet frowned, “Galatians 5:16.”

“It’s not a perfect example but I think”, she put her hand on her chest; “it’s better than Onan. ‘So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want’.”

“Psalm 127: 3-5,” Oscar whispered.

She answered, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

Pam scoffed, “the nature of your soul, to play house with Babylon here?”

Esther smiled a deep smile, “Matthew 7 verses 1 and 2.”

Chet smiled because he knew what they said and that was an excellent comeback.

Oscar had stopped eating. His hand on top of Esther’s became cold and clammy. She wrapped a finger around his, still trying to maintain their discreet pose.

“I still say you need to give Doris a shot.” Pam stared a hole through Esther.

“As my brother so eloquently put it mother, Doris ain’t much to look at but don’t all tits look the same in the dark.” Oscar said flatly.  

Chet choked on his Coke. Oscar was getting braver. He saw a time that Oscar wouldn’t have said a word toward her.

Pam smacked the back of Otis’ head; there was a hunk of bread sticking out of his mouth. “Fool.” She roared.

Esther smiled again and gave Oscar’s hand a slight squeeze. “Luke 6:45.”

This time Chet couldn’t contain himself and he erupted into laughter.

Pam pushed herself from the table, “we’re leavin’.” She croaked.

“But maw, I not done.” Otis said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you’re done.”

She slammed the door behind them.

“Well done,” Chet complimented Esther on her knowledge of the Bible. “Well done. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. I have been waiting for someone to stand up to that woman.”

“What do those scriptures say?” Oscar was lightly panting, his eyes closed.

“Shall I?” Chet asked.

“Be my guest.”

“Luke 6:45 says: good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good: and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Esther whispered as she placed her hand on the back of Oscar’s neck.  “Matthew 7: 1 and 2 says, ‘Judge not, that you be judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged: and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you’.”

Winter Season

Fallin’ leaves

One leaf. One love. One letter.
~
When I was a child;
someone told me, falling leaves
were love letters mild.
Oh, the things we believe.
~
Love letters from whom?
From God, Mother Nature, Father Time?
Love letters from lovers doom?
Love letters, all mine.
~
Should I run after them, catch them in my hand?
If I catch a leave, will it bring real love?
Should this be my plan?
If I chase love, will it fly away like a dove?
~
One leaf. One love. One letter.
Will this wish; this promise stand.
One leaf. One love. One letter.
If I pull, will you lead me with a strand?
~
Should I stand under this tree?
Love, rain down.
Should I let the love come to me?
Love that is never to frown.
~
Love, rain down. I’ll catch you when you fall.
I will not trample over you.
Love, rain down. We will have a ball.
I will not grind you into dust. Love, rain down. I don’t want to be blue.
~
One leaf. One love. One letter.
~
Blow on the wind, leaf. I will catch you.
Trust me.
Love, rain down. Give me all the clues.
The past. The future, I do not see.
~
Love, rain down.
I’ll catch you.
A love so sound.
A love fresh as dew.
~
A childish fantasy. A thoughtful whim.
One leaf. One love. One letter.
Imagination to the brim.
Love, rain down. Make all things better.
~
More leaves? More love?
Should I chase you with a net?
Letters falling from above.
Or on the ground should I set.
~
Cover me leaves of love.
Love, rain down.
I’ll lay still. I will not shove.
All the love to make a crown.
~
I chased you. You chased me.
Love rained down.
I caught you. Did you catch me?
Promise me love, don’t make me a clown.
~
One leaf. One love. One letter.
Light as a feather in my hand.
To fill my heart, no fetters.
Don’t slide through my fingers like sand.
~
One leaf. One love. One letter.

Winter Season

Not for show

She put her arms around his waist; looked toward Oat with a grin, “and what did I tell you the other night? For a man that knows his way around the kitchen, can have anything he wants.  She turned her attention back to Oscar, “sweetie do WE have another chair? I could sit in your lap but I don’t think your mother would approve.” She winked at Pam.

“Chet, you stayin’?” Oscar asked.

It was all he could do not to laugh. “Sure, I’ll have a Coke and a smile. But I ate with Bell.”

“I’ll be right back.” He winked at Esther and she winked back. He stopped, staring at her before putting is hands on her waist, pulled her to him and kissed her. He whispered in her ear, “that was not for show.”

It was all Chet could do not to say, ‘atta boy.’ But he kept his mouth shut.

Otis looked at the soup that was on the table. “Same soup as oth’er day?”

“Same soup.”

“I ain’t eaten no reheats.”

“I have found out that’s one of many things O and I have in common, we aren’t too proud,” she put great inflection on the proud; “to eat leftovers.”

Inside Chet was loving it. But he didn’t let it show.

Oscar had brought a plastic chair from the back porch and covered it with a woobie. She almost set in it, “Ess, sit in a regular chair. I insist. This is cold. I will sit here.”

She wrinkled her nose, “as you wish.”

“Ain’t dis sweet?” Otis roared. The mother still hadn’t said a word to either of them. She just glared at Esther.

She finally let her distaste be heard. “Where is your Christmas tree? Where is the nativity that should be in your front yard? You are a Christian or so you say you are.”

Oscar bit is lower lip before speaking. “I have never had a nativity in my front yard and it has been years since I’ve put up a Christmas tree. Nothing new there.”

“It ain’t right.” Pam scolded. “Jesus is cryin’ in heaven you know.”

“I’m sure Jesus doesn’t care if I have a tree or a nativity. He knows the nature of my soul.”

“But how are the people around you supposed to know that you’re a Christian if you do nothing to show it? Everyone in town is talking about you shackin’ up with Babylon.”

“I wish I could say you can look at me and tell. But I’m sure that is covered with a veil of mistrust.” His stomach seized, “no one has said a word to me about Esther.”

Pam stuck her nose up in the air, “you are expected at Christmas dinner. Doris will be there. I want you to get to know her. She’s a good girl. Ten years younger than you. But that’s a good thing. Not too old to bear children.” She glared even harder at Esther.

“You already have five grandchildren. How many do you want?”

“All God sees fit to give me. They are his precious gifts and you ain’t doin’ a thing to receive his gifts. It is a sin to spill your seed on the ground. Think of all the little babies you’re ah killin’.”

If Oscar could have crawled under the table, he would have.

Winter Season