Once there was Darkness

Chapter 21

Part 1

Kol went to the top of the palace. From this spot, he could see far in every direction. Up here, a breeze was always blowing. The gentle breeze along with the humming of the waves weakened his defenses. He fell asleep.

He was walking on the beach. “Will you allow me to apologize? I know you will never forgive me.”

“Why will I never forgive you?”

“The reason’s are so many. Even though I wasn’t a good wife, did I deserve to die?”

Kol stopped walking and turned to face Sarah. “What?”

She smiled, “so you didn’t know.”

“Know what?”

“Ring.” She said it with urgency in her voice.

Kol was confused. “Ring?” He questioned.

As he woke, he kept thinking about her word – ring. The sun was getting ready to set. What happens at sunset? A student from the temple rings the bell. ‘Ring.’ He gasped, ‘don’t ring the bell’. Kol race down the stairs; screaming as he ran, “Max don’t let them ring the bell!” He would run a few steps and scream again.

Frego heard him and started running toward the tower. He caught the student at the gate. He was out of breath. “Don’t ring the bell.” He panted.

The wide eyed confused student stammered, “I ring the bell every day as the sun starts to set.”

“Not today.” His breathing was leveling off. “Order of the king. Not today.”

Kol, Max and half the Bejhar came running toward them. “We haven’t been here long.”

“Who opened the gate?” Kol asked, out of breath.

“I did sire.” The student answered.

“Was it locked?”

“Yes.”

Kol walked up to the door and shook the handle. It was locked. “Continue.”

The student opened the door as Frego rushed past him, up the stairs. “Do not let anyone pull that rope.” Kol ordered as he followed not far behind.

One Bejhar was at the gate. One at the door. And one at the rope.

Frego stood in front of his dad and spun him around as he entered the room. “Dad, please. We can take care of this. You don’t need to be here.”

Kol saw the look on Max’s face as he entered. He broke Frego’s hold to face, “Kessa.” She had been tied to the hole under the bell. She was pulled across the hole. Legs and arms spread as far apart as they would go.

Max studied the bell housing. “One pull of the cord and the bell will fall.”

“Look at this,” Frego had found another rope. “If we move her, the bell is going to fall. Who ever did this has her as some kind of counter weight.” He turned to see Kol as close to her head as he could get.

Kol could see her mouth moving. With is focus on her lips, he should have paid more attention to his lessons. “Max,” he called. Max knelt beside his king. “What is she saying?”

The student priest pop through the door. “Our Heavenly Father!” He squeaked.

Frego gave him a stern look.

“Revelations 21:8.” Max reported.

“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” The student recited.

Everyone in the room just stared at him.

“Max, stay here. If she says anything else, I want to know.”

“Yes, my king.”

Kol leaned against the wall. “This took great planning. One person didn’t do this.”

Priest Solomon came storming into the room, “since when does the king get to override the church?” He saw Kessa and stopped suddenly, falling to his knees. “Oh my Lord.”

When he looked at his king, Kol was glaring at him.

“Romans 8:31.” Max reported.

“If God is with me, who can be against me.” Kol recited. He looked at the student, “I know that one.”

“What do we do?” Solomon asked?

“Keep praying.” Kol hissed. The student joined his teacher on the floor.

Frego all but cried, “why doesn’t she tell us how to get her out of this mess?”

Kol’s lips quivered, “she doesn’t know what kind of mess she’s in.” He thought for a moment, “understand.” There was a nagging in the back of his head about understanding. Something needed to be understood.

“Psalm’s 23:4.” Max sighed.

Frego spoke, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

Kol slid down the wall to the floor. “ Someone go check on Rajaf.”

A Bejhar bowed his head and left.

The student asked, “why is she quoting Bible verses?” He thought about how unreligious that sounded. “Not that there is anything wrong with quoting the Bible.”

“She’s not awake. It’s her minds way of keeping her from going to a dark place.” Kol thought about what he had just said. “The Bible!” He exclaimed. “Jesus wept.” Max watched her lips intently. A long time passed. Kol was beginning to think he might be wrong.

“John 11:35.” Max responded. He said, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Again it took a long time for her to answer. “Isaiah 40:31.” Max shared her words.

“Kessa don’t move.” Kol spoke. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Frego noticed the way Max looked at Kol. Was this a secret the three of them shared?

Kol had hugged up his knees with his chin resting on top. He caught Max’s glance.

It took so long for her to answer that Frego thought she really was lost.

“Isaiah 41:10.” Max finally spoke.

The student added, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

It didn’t seem to take as long this time. “James 1:17” Max responded. “Don’t move. You can’t move.”

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 20

Part 3

Abraham stood, bowed his head and left.

Once he was out of the room, Kol asked; “do you think he’s telling the truth?”

“What does he have to gain by lying, my king?”

“I trust your judgment over anyone’s. What is your gut reaction to this?”

Kessa didn’t answer him right away. Why couldn’t he accept this as the gift it was and let it go? She said a little prayer that Max, Frego, anyone would show up to redirect his attention. Someone did. His mother.

“Come,” Kol offered when there came a knock at the door. The porter let his mother in.

“Mother.”

She looked that the box and it’s contents displayed all over the floor. “If Clara wasn’t dead, I’d dismiss her. This stuff was to be thrown away.”

“You don’t have to name a stone in her honor in the garden and piss on it,” Kol’s voice was flat. “She did her job. Someone saved this stuff. How may I help you?”

“You’re busy, I can come back.” She turned to leave.

Kol stood, “now is fine.” Kessa moved to get up but Kol motioned for her to stay.

The look on his mother’s face spoke volumes to Kessa. She was not welcomed. “Why don’t you use your father’s study to interact with people? It’s much more official.”

“This part of the library does me just fine.”

“Have you been in your father’s office?”

Kol eyed the box on the floor before he answered her, “yes I had it cleaned out. The priest took a lot of stuff to the temple. There is a good amount in the public section of the library.” He pointed to a massive pile of books, papers, and scrolls in the corner of the room. “I’ve been going through the rest of it as I have time.”

“What about your father’s work?”

“What about it? Why do you think I spend so much time in here? I know nothing. I don’t know why the council was formed. I don’t know why I had to recite an hour’s worth of meaningless words when I was crowned king. What can I change? What has to stay the same for authorities sake?”

“You’ve have certainly made a lot of little changes.”

“Elaborate.”

“I was never allowed to be in the room when your father was with someone.” She pointed at Kessa. “To has just enough food in the kitchen for a week. And he told me that any leftover food that wasn’t used was given to the people at the wall or taken to the market and given away. Scraps fed to the livestock.” She huffed, “People at the wall, your father would have ran them off but you let strangers sleep in the shadow of the wall.”

“I know all about how dad treated the people at the wall. You chose not to rule after dad’s death. You don’t get to sit on the island and judge how things are progressing.”

“Or the lack.”

“Lack?”

Kessa knew by the inflection in his voice he was getting upset.

“It’s about time you got rid of that nasty ring your dad gave you.”

Kol looked at his finger where the ring had always been. “No, lack?”

She smile, “why did you build a new, smaller prison? Two rooms? What is Mecca going to do with two rooms?”

“I didn’t want a prison at all.” Kol looked at Kessa. “It was brought to my attention that we need something.”

His mother huffed, “we had something.”

“The old building is being turned into a shelter for the people at the wall.”

“THE PEOPLE AT THE WALL!” She shouted.

Kol raised an eyebrow and his eyes got large. He stepped over and was almost in her face. “You can disagree with me all you like but you will not yell at me.”

She turned to leave but stopped long enough to look at the box of history again. “Apparently someone didn’t like our parenting choices either.”

After she left, Kol sat on the edge of his large desk. He looked lost. Kessa walked over to him standing directly in front of him. He put a hand on either side of her waist. “God may be leading me down a path that I can’t go down alone. Will you walk with me?” Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 12

With a gentle finger she lifted his chin, looking deep into his violet eyes. “I will go as far as you will let me.”

Waste not. Want not: condiments packets.

This poem is being written in stages to highlight the things I do toward frugal living.

Mustard, ketchup, butter, pepper, or salt.

I don’t eat out a lot. Put that spending to a halt.

When I do, those condiment packets will be saved.

Eaten later or added to a recipe, usefulness will be made.

Some restaurants now days are making us pay for those.

Concerning our budgets, we must be on our toes.

What I have so far: Waste not. Want not.

Growing up; my daily life was filled with the saying, “waste not, want not.”

When you’re young, what clue do you have in lives dot?

As we grow; we learn, “money doesn’t grow on trees.”

I save the salt from chocolate squeeze.

To my stew you are added.

Flavor has been padded.

Aw sheet!

Blasted hole. This is not a treat.

I’m gonna fix you. I guarantee.

From my needle you need to flee.

More time will be added to your life. Around you I shall mend.

So more dream filled nights, you can tend.

Coffee. Nectar of God. You help me through another day.

Upright and functional, you help me stay.

What about your grounds?

A use for you, I have found.

Nutrients to the soil you will add.

Helping my veggies grow big and strong. Which will make me very glad.

Leftovers are my jam.

From me, they do not scram.

I freeze you to eat you for lunch.

Which helps my overall finances a bunch.

Someday I’d like to retire.

I’m sick of this mire.

Toothpaste: squeeze, squeeze you. But never tease me.

I will cut you open before I let you be.

Give me all your power.

Your contents, I will devour.

Inside I find more paste.

Enough for at lease 5 more brushings. No waste.

Mustard, ketchup, butter, pepper, or salt.

I don’t eat out a lot. Put that spending to a halt.

When I do, those condiment packets will be saved.

Eaten later or added to a recipe, usefulness will be made.

Some restaurants now days are making us pay for those.

Concerning our budgets, we must be on our toes.

This again?

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I hate being asked this question during an interview. So this one job interview I went to; surprise, they asked. There was no chance I was really getting the job so I couldn’t help myself and answered, “in five years I want your job.” Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. But it was so worth it to see the expression on the interviewers face.

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 20

Part 2

Kol went to the door. In a little while, a porter entered with tea and water. Kol instructed it to be sat near the box. As the porter left, Kessa arrived. “My king.” She bowed her head.

He and Abraham were standing over a box of stuff. She bowed her head at Abraham.

“Join us.” They sat in the floor by the box. Kol motioned for her to sit on his right. “Abraham doesn’t know what some of this stuff is. Will you help us?”

“I’ll do my best, my king.”

He started pulling stuff out of the box. There were at least 15 gold covered medallions.

“What are these for? I saw a bunch of these on the walls at Rajaf’s.”

“They are champion awards from your military training. The picture tells you what they are for.” She pointed them out as she talked. “Archery, swordsmanship, horseback riding, tactical, wrestling, hand to hand combat.”

“I don’t remember any of this.”

He pulled out a very small handmade foot covering. “Frego?”

Abraham shook his head no, “you.”

He put it over his thumb. “It’s so little. Was I really ever this little?”

Kessa and Abraham spoke at the same time, “yes.”

The box was littered with pieces of ribbon. “What’s all this?”

“Your crowning ceremony.” Abraham spoke. “The throne room floor was covered with ribbon. It was up to our ankles. You had to enter the room from the back and walk forward to the throne with the crown, robe, staff, and all the pomp that comes with it. When you walked through this stuff, it looked like you were walking on water. The weight of the robe caused the ribbon to flow around behind you and it reminded me when water comes together at the back of a boat. Swirling around and around before coming back together. It doesn’t shock me that you can’t remember this. That robe weight at least 100 pounds. And all the stuff you had to recite, would turn any man’s brain to mud. But you did it. One hour of oaths, laws, and forgive me, nonsense.” Kol held up a burgundy colored piece of cloth, no bigger than his hand. “This was from your wedding.” He pulled out a wooden doll.

Kessa gasped, “I remember that. Max, me, you and that red headed boy were playing in the woods.” She blushed, “you were so annoyed with Max because he didn’t want to go back. You were tired and he just kept tormenting you.” She put her hands on her hips, “you put your hand on your hips and said sternly, ‘if you don’t stop, you are going to get hurt and we are going to have to pack your fatuous ass home.’ He started laughing because you said the word ass, lost his balance, fell and broke his leg. You made this for him. This little piece of cloth was a piece of the dressing they put on his leg.” Kessa smiled as she held the simple looking doll.

“I do remember something happened that caused me to start paying attention to my words. Words have consequences. What is the red head covering for?”

“You got hurt in a wrestling match.” She held her hand to the left side of his head. “May I?”

“You may.”

Kol closed his eyes as she felt around in his hair. The feeling of her fingers working their way across his head was different, intense, pleasing. He was amazed at how good it felt. Had Abraham not been there, he would have let her do that all day. “Do you feel that?” She had found a place just above his ear. At first he didn’t respond. “My king?” She whispered.

He finally spoke, “yes. Where did that come from?”

She sat back down. “Your opponent in the match snuck a rock into the competition. He hit you so hard that we thought he had killed you. Max put this head covering on it and gave it back to you while you recovered.” She turned it over on the back. There were two very different styles of writing carved into the doll. “Isaiah 41:10 was you and Isaiah 40:31 was Max.”

She handed Kol the doll. He rubbed his fingers over the verses but still couldn’t remember.

“That place in my head isn’t from the Zeede?”

“I’m sure it’s higher, my king.”

Kol pulled out a weird looking trinket. It looked like a person but the features were odd. The head was really small. The body was five times bigger than the head. It must have been a female. What he thought were breasts were resting on its knees. This figure was flat and fit in the palm of his hand. “What is this?”

“I found that shortly after you’re father died. You hadn’t been back long.” Abraham voiced.

“Could it be a Zeede trinket?” Kessa asked.

“If it is, why would I have kept it?”

They spent all evening going through the box.

Suddenly Kol just stopped. Abraham caught Kessa’s glance. She spoke softly, “my king.”

He lowered his head slightly, “Abraham, why do you have all of this stuff?”

Abraham smiled, “Elizabeth and I aren’t able to have children. We took every opportunity we could get to share in your childhood.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure Max brings this back to you.”

Growing Up

Growing up, did you know the difference?

Growing up, did you know the forest was coniferous?

No matter where you turned

with toxic conditions you would get burned?

Growing up, what did you know about mental illness?

What did you know about all the sickness?

This person was an eccentric, maybe.

These people you saw daily.

This person was mean.

Plain and simple. Sure was seen.

This person was melancholy.

Not a folly.

The family drunk.

Accept this was who they were. Don’t get caught up in their funk.

Yes, there was a pot head or two.

We all knew.

This was normal.

We were not formal.

One big pot of dysfunctional stew.

I had no idea what was in the brew.

Paranoid schizophrenia, diagnosed.

What others have gone under the scope?

Late in life it was made official.

For years, I struggled with this missile.

How do you know?

All this was normal behavior. These seeds I did not sow.

Was this in my future?

I didn’t see the humor.

Is this what I have to look forward to?

Was this my just due?

In my head, I tried so hard to understand.

But our relationship was worse than quicksand.

Finally, it became too much.

What can I say? No such!

I pray for you.

This situation makes me blue.

But your emotional needles, I can not endure.

This holds no allure.

Damned if I do. Dammed if I don’t.

Down with you, I will not be sunk.

I have my issues. This is a fact.

All your luggage, I can not pack.

I may be seen as a horrible person. Uncaring.

With this I am not swearing.

Your needles and your sap are too much.

You will not use me as your crutch.

I will not be crushed under the weight of your denial.

This is not my trial.

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 20

Part 1

Rajaf answered the door to find Kol standing there. “My king.” He smiled. “Please, come in. Kessa and I are eating. Will you join us?”

“Forgive me. I wasn’t thinking about the time.”

“No harm.” The old man smiled.

When Kol entered the small kitchen, Kessa retrieved a bowl for him. Serving up some soup. Bread, fruit, and cheese were already on the table. “Thank you.”

“What brings you this way, my king?” Kessa smiled.

Kol leaned over the bowl taking a deep breath, “this smells amazing.”

Rajaf laughed, “wait till you taste it, my king.”

He was right, the soup was amazing. “Do you care if we eat and talk?” Kol asked.

“I encourage it.” Rajaf laughed.

Kol smiled. “Would you care if I ask what you have kept from Kessa’s childhood?” Kessa grinned. “What?” He questioned.

“What hasn’t he kept?” Kessa answered.

Rajaf rubbed his hands together, “let me show him?”

Kessa thought for a moment, “I will make you a trade. Eat half of your bowl of soup and I will let him show you, my king.”

Kol gasped, “you would bribe your king?”

“If it means getting food in his stomach, yes. Brazingly so.”

Rajaf laughed. Kol liked the old man’s laugh. It caused a smile to curl his lips.

“Dad has kept everything I have ever done.”

“Not true.” He shook his spoon at Kessa. “All the pottery you have made and gave away. I’m pretty sure General Marcus has some of your maps.” They sat and talked like this for at least half an hour.

When Kol looked at Kessa, she was smiling so big that her eyes were shining. He felt embarrassed. “What?”

“You ate all your soup.” She winked.

Rajaf patted Kol on the shoulder, “come with me.” Rajaf was excited. It was easy to see.

The first room you entered when you came into Rajaf’s house was the workshop. Behind it was the kitchen. He led them back through the workshop to a small hall with three doors. They went to the right. This room was light and airy, with a pleasing smell. It was a bedroom. The walls were covered with medallions, weapons, ribbons, pictures. Some of the pictures it was clear a child drew them. But some, no child did these. Rajaf led them back to the hall and the door on the left. This too was a bedroom. It was darker, the smell heavyer but pleasant. Again, the walls were covered.

Rajaf looked at Kessa with a questioning glance.

Kol asked, “you did all of this?”

“At different stages in life, yes.”

He turned to Rajaf, “why keep it?”

“She’s my child, why wouldn’t I, my king?”

Kessa asked, “what do you see when you see all of this?”

“I’m not sure.. Thank you for sharing with me.” Kol left more confused than when he arrived. Three rooms in Rajaf’s house were a mess. These two bedrooms and his workshop were littered with stuff. It wasn’t chaos though. It seemed to him that even though there was a lot of stuff; it was with a purpose.

Kol sent a porter to get Abraham.

When he arrived, Abraham looked concerned, “sire is everything alright?”

“My memory isn’t what it should be. What do you remember of my childhood?”

Abraham smiled a big smile, “if you will allow me, I will be right back.”

Kol nodded yes.

When he returned, Max was carrying a heavy box. “Where shall Max put this, sire?”

“There is fine Max.”

“Thank you Max,” Abraham smiled.

He bowed his head, “you are welcome.” And left the room.

Abraham looked at Kol, “sire.” He bent opening the lid to the box. Kol walked toward it with great caution. But when he saw it he was astonished. It wasn’t Rajaf’s walls. But here was stuff that represented part of Kol’s life. “I don’t know what some of this stuff is. I saved a lot of it from the purges.”

“Purges?”

“Yes, your mother would go every month or so while you were at the barracks and clean out your quarters of anything that was deemed worthless.”

“Will you share with me what you know?”

“Of course, sire.”

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 19

Kol called for Kessa. The air in the library was heavy with tension. He was staring out the window. Her arrival went (she thought) unnoticed. He didn’t look up from the floor as he walked beside her. His hands behind his back. This was odd. He had never done this before. When he stopped beside her, he didn’t look at her. She could see with her peripheral vision that he was looking at the door behind her. He took a deep breath, “why did you take my mother with you?”

This was not at all what she was expecting. “I was on the platform when she got off the boat. I wasn’t dressed in my uniform. She asked me why? So I told her. She invited herself to go with me.”

He wasn’t standing beside her anymore. But he was still in the room. “I’m sorry. Forgive me.” He whispered. “It didn’t sound right to me that you and mother would go anywhere together. I’m sorry that she did that to you.”

“Thank you, my king. If I may be honest, there is no need for you to apologize for her.”

She wanted to ask him if he was okay but it didn’t feel right. Something was wrong. More so than usual. Should she speak?

He was standing to her right. His hands still behind his back. This time he was staring at the coat of arms in the middle of the room. He took one step to his left and they were arm to shoulder. Kol was a little taller than Kessa. In a low voice, he finally spoke; “I’m dreaming Kes. If God is trying to tell me something, I can’t begin to figure it out. I can’t remember anything that happened in these dreams. When I wake; I’m shaking, covered in sweat and I feel either angry, sad, or empty.” He stepped behind her. Still speaking in a low voice. “When you have been on a long journey, or when we come back from battle; how do you feel when you see Rajaf?”

“Overjoyed, my king.” Her answer was swift.

He was to her right. “When I saw my mother yesterday, I felt nothing. It was like seeing a stranger before me.” He was behind her, “this is going to sound bizarre, what do you remember of my childhood?”

“Very little, my king. Believe it or not, I remember holding you when you were a baby. Abraham always accompanied you to the barracks. Even on your first day. I never remember seeing your parents there. If they ever attended a competition, I don’t remember. It was always Abraham.”

“What was I like that first day?”

“Timid. Myself, Max and” she put her hand to her mouth, “what was that other kids name? He had red hair. I can’t believe I forgot his name. We showed you around.”

“How old was I?”

“Six, I think.”

“Was she at my crowning ceremony?”

“Your mother? I honestly don’t remember.”

“Was she here when Frego was born?”

“Breifly, my king. She left once it was announced your wife had passed.”

“Are you sure?”

“I accompanied her to the platform.”

Kol was behind her. She could feel the material of his garment move when he took a breath. His voice broke when he spoke, “thank you.”