My fault, really?

I don’t deal with emotional stuff well.

Life has taught me not to dwell.

Crap happens. Move on.

Who cares if you got your feelings hurt? Be done.

‘Oh, you got your little feelings hurt?’ Overrated.

Moot, overrated, antiquated.

I hear you. Don’t care.

You’re the one with the problem, do you dare?

So I share. This is why I reacted that way.

What you said to me reads as it’s all my fault. No more words will I say.

I have boundaries I wish not to be crossed.

Aside, those you wish to toss.

Go ahead and blame me if you need to.

I have broad shoulders. Do what you need to.

Someday don’t miss me and come crawling back.

I may be so far gone, there is no slack.

The ties that bind may be so frayed and worn.

Too much damage. So torn.

Blood is thicker than water, not!

At least emotionally, it is wroth.

What you’ve said to me is that my emotions aren’t valid.

We can’t talk without you tossing names like a salad.

Your choice. Here’s mine.

Let it go or we shall not dine.

Take your half baked apology and shove it up your $&@.

You sure do have a set of brass.

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 22

Part 1

Kessa was severely bruised. She couldn’t move without wanting to cry.

His mother left soon after this incident. She never stayed long.

There was a knock at the door, it was Rajaf. He had made this strange little thing and was feeding her tea? Kol wasn’t sure.

“What is that thing?” Kol asked, sitting on the bed.

“I haven’t given it a name.” It was a round object on the end of a stick. Rajaf would squeeze the round object to fill the stick. When he placed it over her mouth, another squeeze of the round object would release the tea. “I have been working on this since you were sick from the cherries.”

“What is the liquid?”

“Tea with medicine in it. I guess it’s silly. I’m trying to make it taste better.”

“No, it isn’t silly.” He smiled. “Where’s that white liquid?”

Rajaf almost cried. His voice cracked when he spoke. “She’s been poisoned.” He looked around the room. At some point, food had been brought in. He dumped the rotting crumbs in a basket, cut the tip of Kessa’s little finger to get a few drops of blood. After squeezing them onto the plate, he produced a pouch of the liquid. When the liquid hit her blood, it reacted violently. Bubbling wildly.

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t much either. But I know enough, when stuff like this happens to check. If human hands have been involved, it’s,” he thought – “deadly.”

“The arrow was human hands.”

“Some how it’s different.”

“Who knows the intimate details of this stuff?”

“The three of us.” Rajaf kissed her on the forehead and left.

Kol called for Max. He stepped around one of the massive curtains. “My king.”

Kol showed him to the balcony. “Are you going to tell me what Kes said that had you so upset?”

He lowered his head. “I really don’t think I should. She was in a lot of pain. I feel like it was just a release. My king.” When Max raised his head, Kol was within a nose length of his face. He wanted to step backwards but dared not. “Please don’t order me.”

“I would have to?”

“Yes, my king.”

Kol just walked away from him. He lay back down with Kessa, drifted off to sleep with her asleep on his shoulder. He was standing in the memorial garden.

“Have you ever put flowers in here for me?”

“No.”

“I really was a bad wife.” She smirked.

“Thank you for the clue that saved Kessa.”

“I’m afraid clues are all I can give you. I have another clue.”

“Not all things are as they appear. Don’t believe the deception.”

When Kol turned she was gone. Kessa moaned, waking him up.

“Hello beautiful.”

The Red Violin

What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

The Red Violin

IMDb.com

“A red-colored violin inspires passion, making its way through three centuries over several owners and countries, eventually ending up at an auction where it may find a new owner.”

The Red Violin

Original title: Le violon rouge

  • 1998
  • R
  • 2h 10m

Watch trailer: YouTube.com

This movie is beautifully made. A great story. It helps if you like violin music. 😉 And you have to pay attention. There is so much going on. So many pieces to the story. And yes, I’ve watched it many times; I think 🤔 parts of it aren’t in English. If you don’t like watching movies with subtitles, this movie may not be to your liking.

The Red Violin is my second favorite movie.

If you choose to watch it, I hope you enjoy.

Am I superstitious? Ish…

Are you superstitious?

Am I superstitious? Ish…

I can’t remember where I heard this quote from:

Quote by Edmund Burke: “Superstition is the religion of feeble minds.”

Maybe English Lit.? When I heard it, it was translated a little differently: “Superstition is the religion of fools.”

As I have gotten older, I’ve learned that some superstitions are rooted in stopping you from doing things that will get you hurt or will hurt others. Don’t walk under that ladder! No umbrellas inside. Don’t step on a crack or you’ll fall and break your back.

As I did a little research for this, I found that okay maybe I’m more superstitious than I thought? You’re only supposed to pick up pennie’s if they’re on heads. Not me. I’m picking that baby up and always I sing this little ditty in my head: “See a penny, pick it up, and all day long you’ll have good luck.”

Breaking a wishbone is fun. When I knock on wood, I use my head instead. Sometimes, I can be as dense as wood.

“Bad luck comes in threes.” A personal life observation, this holds. Bad luck usually comes in waves. (At least in my life.)

“Careful with that mirror.” Yes, I’ve broken mirrors and I’m still standing. But I’ve swept up glass shards for weeks after. Ouch! 666, Yes, I avoid. And sometimes I cross my fingers.

Well Mr. Burke, I’m more superstitious than I thought.

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 21

Part 2

The student spoke again, “So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”

Max answered almost immediately, “John 16:22.”

Kol spoke, “Kessa don’t move.”

“Keep talking.” Max reported.

The Bejhar that went to check on Rajaf sent Violet back to report. “Oooooo.” She scooted over to Frego; bowed her head to the king. “Sicro found Rajaf unconscious on the floor. He’s coming back around.”

“Violet,” Kol asked. “Can you climb?”

“Yes my king.”

“Go to the bottom, climb back up. As you climb, I want to know everything that is around you. Climb all the way up to Kessa and whatever you do, don’t pull the rope.”

“My king,” she bowed and left.

She yelled up when she had reached the bottom. The climb was pointless. There was nothing. Just a straight shaft. No boards were loose. Not even a ledge big enough for a bird to land on.

Kol looked up. ‘God help us.’ He remembered when Frego and Iram got stuck. “Will you two come over here?” He asked Priest Solomon and his student. “Keep reciting the Bible.” They moved. Kol walked around Max to a door that opened onto a small balcony with a railing around it.

Max stood, joining Kol. “What are you thinking, my king?”

“It may not work.”

“She keeps repeating two messages.” Kol looked at Max. He took a deep breath as he hung his head, whispering “she loves us both and I need to protect you.”

Kol’s voice cracked. “She’s given up?”

Max didn’t answer; he couldn’t. Reading her lips tore his heart out. He was finally able to say, “we have been up here a long time. The night is half over, my king.” He still didn’t raise his head.

Kol whispered in his ear, “what are you not telling me?”

Max only shook his head. Finally he asked, “your plan?”

“It may not work. When Frego was little, he and Iram got stuck up here. She jumped twice from up here. How did she do that?”

“Kessa has always been a woman of many talents.”

“At this point, her muscles are screaming. You know she’s in great pain.” It was all Kol could do not to cry. He walked back into the room. Max was right behind him. “Can we swing the bell toward the back wall? It will hit, prayerfully fall backwards, giving us enough time to cut the ropes and pull her out?”

“We need to pre-cut the ropes. We will have seconds.” Frego answered.

“Are we assuming that one motion of the bell will bring it down?” Violet asked.

“Yes. The housing has been severely damaged.” Max answered.

“We precut the ropes, push the bell and pull her to one of those two corners.” Kol was pointing to his right over the priest and his students head.

“Protect her head.” Max was thinking out loud. “This corner.” He walked to the one closest to him. This has to be perfect.”

“What’s this platform like? Is it strong?” The student asked. “If it will hold, push the bell, drop her down, the bell should land on the corner of the platform.”

“Measure it.” Kol ordered. The Bejhar got to work.

“Sorry, my king. The bell is smaller than the hole.” Max hissed.

“It’s going to fall when we do this.” Kol was thinking. “Only four people need to be up here. Four who are good at.” He trailed off.

Max, Violet, and Frego “us.” Frego pulled Kol’s attention to the group.

“God I pray this is how this works; precut the ropes.” He stopped, “we need another person. Someone to swing the bell.”

“No, we got this, my king. Frego and Violet on the far side, they are the youngest. Can move the fastest. You here. I will push the bell.”

“You can do that and get to your rope?” Kol asked.

“I can my king. I will.”

“There is a rope tied around her waist. It will need cut once the bell clears the hole. The bell will pull her with it.” Violet reminded them.

“I will. I want everyone out of here that doesn’t have a job. Pray that we will be able to walk down the stairs and not have to fly down.” Kol instructed.

Everyone gathered at the gate and prayed.

The group began cutting their chosen rope. They cut til the fibers groaned. Max and Kol put their knives in their mouth. Max stood at the bell, nodding at Frego.

“On three,” Frego spoke. “Cut your rope and run. One, two, THREE!”

Max pushed. Frego and Violet cut their rope. As they stood to run, the bell crashed into the wall. Max cut his rope. Frego ran past him pulling Kessa’s right leg. Violet ran toward Kol pulling Kessa’s right arm. Kol was done. He looked up to see the bell falling backward toward the hole.

“Move!” Frego shouted.

Kol and Max pulled at the same time. Kessa was free of the hole. Kol was struggling to cut the rope around her waist. He hadn’t notice Frego was cutting as well. The bell gave a desperate pull at the rope. Max and Violet laid on Kessa holding her against the pull of the bell. The rope finally broke where Frego was cutting.

The bell vibrated angrily as it hit the ground. Dust bellowed out in every direction. The tower withstood the impact of the crash. Max went down to check the stairs. He shouted back, “we can get out.”

Once everyone was safe outside, Kol cut the ropes off Kessa.

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 21

Part 1

Kol went to the top of the palace. From this spot, he could see far in every direction. Up here, a breeze was always blowing. The gentle breeze along with the humming of the waves weakened his defenses. He fell asleep.

He was walking on the beach. “Will you allow me to apologize? I know you will never forgive me.”

“Why will I never forgive you?”

“The reason’s are so many. Even though I wasn’t a good wife, did I deserve to die?”

Kol stopped walking and turned to face Sarah. “What?”

She smiled, “so you didn’t know.”

“Know what?”

“Ring.” She said it with urgency in her voice.

Kol was confused. “Ring?” He questioned.

As he woke, he kept thinking about her word – ring. The sun was getting ready to set. What happens at sunset? A student from the temple rings the bell. ‘Ring.’ He gasped, ‘don’t ring the bell’. Kol race down the stairs; screaming as he ran, “Max don’t let them ring the bell!” He would run a few steps and scream again.

Frego heard him and started running toward the tower. He caught the student at the gate. He was out of breath. “Don’t ring the bell.” He panted.

The wide eyed confused student stammered, “I ring the bell every day as the sun starts to set.”

“Not today.” His breathing was leveling off. “Order of the king. Not today.”

Kol, Max and half the Bejhar came running toward them. “We haven’t been here long.”

“Who opened the gate?” Kol asked, out of breath.

“I did sire.” The student answered.

“Was it locked?”

“Yes.”

Kol walked up to the door and shook the handle. It was locked. “Continue.”

The student opened the door as Frego rushed past him, up the stairs. “Do not let anyone pull that rope.” Kol ordered as he followed not far behind.

One Bejhar was at the gate. One at the door. And one at the rope.

Frego stood in front of his dad and spun him around as he entered the room. “Dad, please. We can take care of this. You don’t need to be here.”

Kol saw the look on Max’s face as he entered. He broke Frego’s hold to face, “Kessa.” She had been tied to the hole under the bell. She was pulled across the hole. Legs and arms spread as far apart as they would go.

Max studied the bell housing. “One pull of the cord and the bell will fall.”

“Look at this,” Frego had found another rope. “If we move her, the bell is going to fall. Who ever did this has her as some kind of counter weight.” He turned to see Kol as close to her head as he could get.

Kol could see her mouth moving. With is focus on her lips, he should have paid more attention to his lessons. “Max,” he called. Max knelt beside his king. “What is she saying?”

The student priest pop through the door. “Our Heavenly Father!” He squeaked.

Frego gave him a stern look.

“Revelations 21:8.” Max reported.

“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” The student recited.

Everyone in the room just stared at him.

“Max, stay here. If she says anything else, I want to know.”

“Yes, my king.”

Kol leaned against the wall. “This took great planning. One person didn’t do this.”

Priest Solomon came storming into the room, “since when does the king get to override the church?” He saw Kessa and stopped suddenly, falling to his knees. “Oh my Lord.”

When he looked at his king, Kol was glaring at him.

“Romans 8:31.” Max reported.

“If God is with me, who can be against me.” Kol recited. He looked at the student, “I know that one.”

“What do we do?” Solomon asked?

“Keep praying.” Kol hissed. The student joined his teacher on the floor.

Frego all but cried, “why doesn’t she tell us how to get her out of this mess?”

Kol’s lips quivered, “she doesn’t know what kind of mess she’s in.” He thought for a moment, “understand.” There was a nagging in the back of his head about understanding. Something needed to be understood.

“Psalm’s 23:4.” Max sighed.

Frego spoke, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

Kol slid down the wall to the floor. “ Someone go check on Rajaf.”

A Bejhar bowed his head and left.

The student asked, “why is she quoting Bible verses?” He thought about how unreligious that sounded. “Not that there is anything wrong with quoting the Bible.”

“She’s not awake. It’s her minds way of keeping her from going to a dark place.” Kol thought about what he had just said. “The Bible!” He exclaimed. “Jesus wept.” Max watched her lips intently. A long time passed. Kol was beginning to think he might be wrong.

“John 11:35.” Max responded. He said, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Again it took a long time for her to answer. “Isaiah 40:31.” Max shared her words.

“Kessa don’t move.” Kol spoke. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Frego noticed the way Max looked at Kol. Was this a secret the three of them shared?

Kol had hugged up his knees with his chin resting on top. He caught Max’s glance.

It took so long for her to answer that Frego thought she really was lost.

“Isaiah 41:10.” Max finally spoke.

The student added, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

It didn’t seem to take as long this time. “James 1:17” Max responded. “Don’t move. You can’t move.”

Once there was Darkness

Chapter 20

Part 3

Abraham stood, bowed his head and left.

Once he was out of the room, Kol asked; “do you think he’s telling the truth?”

“What does he have to gain by lying, my king?”

“I trust your judgment over anyone’s. What is your gut reaction to this?”

Kessa didn’t answer him right away. Why couldn’t he accept this as the gift it was and let it go? She said a little prayer that Max, Frego, anyone would show up to redirect his attention. Someone did. His mother.

“Come,” Kol offered when there came a knock at the door. The porter let his mother in.

“Mother.”

She looked that the box and it’s contents displayed all over the floor. “If Clara wasn’t dead, I’d dismiss her. This stuff was to be thrown away.”

“You don’t have to name a stone in her honor in the garden and piss on it,” Kol’s voice was flat. “She did her job. Someone saved this stuff. How may I help you?”

“You’re busy, I can come back.” She turned to leave.

Kol stood, “now is fine.” Kessa moved to get up but Kol motioned for her to stay.

The look on his mother’s face spoke volumes to Kessa. She was not welcomed. “Why don’t you use your father’s study to interact with people? It’s much more official.”

“This part of the library does me just fine.”

“Have you been in your father’s office?”

Kol eyed the box on the floor before he answered her, “yes I had it cleaned out. The priest took a lot of stuff to the temple. There is a good amount in the public section of the library.” He pointed to a massive pile of books, papers, and scrolls in the corner of the room. “I’ve been going through the rest of it as I have time.”

“What about your father’s work?”

“What about it? Why do you think I spend so much time in here? I know nothing. I don’t know why the council was formed. I don’t know why I had to recite an hour’s worth of meaningless words when I was crowned king. What can I change? What has to stay the same for authorities sake?”

“You’ve have certainly made a lot of little changes.”

“Elaborate.”

“I was never allowed to be in the room when your father was with someone.” She pointed at Kessa. “To has just enough food in the kitchen for a week. And he told me that any leftover food that wasn’t used was given to the people at the wall or taken to the market and given away. Scraps fed to the livestock.” She huffed, “People at the wall, your father would have ran them off but you let strangers sleep in the shadow of the wall.”

“I know all about how dad treated the people at the wall. You chose not to rule after dad’s death. You don’t get to sit on the island and judge how things are progressing.”

“Or the lack.”

“Lack?”

Kessa knew by the inflection in his voice he was getting upset.

“It’s about time you got rid of that nasty ring your dad gave you.”

Kol looked at his finger where the ring had always been. “No, lack?”

She smile, “why did you build a new, smaller prison? Two rooms? What is Mecca going to do with two rooms?”

“I didn’t want a prison at all.” Kol looked at Kessa. “It was brought to my attention that we need something.”

His mother huffed, “we had something.”

“The old building is being turned into a shelter for the people at the wall.”

“THE PEOPLE AT THE WALL!” She shouted.

Kol raised an eyebrow and his eyes got large. He stepped over and was almost in her face. “You can disagree with me all you like but you will not yell at me.”

She turned to leave but stopped long enough to look at the box of history again. “Apparently someone didn’t like our parenting choices either.”

After she left, Kol sat on the edge of his large desk. He looked lost. Kessa walked over to him standing directly in front of him. He put a hand on either side of her waist. “God may be leading me down a path that I can’t go down alone. Will you walk with me?” Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 12

With a gentle finger she lifted his chin, looking deep into his violet eyes. “I will go as far as you will let me.”