Winter Season

Panic

After 50 years, you would think he could talk to his mother and have a normal conversation with her. You would think she would have a warm, nurturing relationship with both her sons. You would think that when she berated him so, he would be able to take up for himself. You would be wrong. He knew this was his fault. She couldn’t get to him if he didn’t let her. But how could he stand up for himself without hurting her? Or destroying their relationship. Then it dawned on him, WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!

Esther was driving to the store to buy cleaning supplies and paint. It was time to get started. She decided she would start in the bedroom first, then work her way through the rest of the house, since sleep was most important to her. Even if she didn’t get a lot.

She slacked all weekend.  It was great fun. But today was the day to get busy. Play time was over.

As she continued her drive, she saw Oscar’s SUV pulled off to the side of the road. Oscar had been so nice to her; it would have been unchristianly to pass him by. Through the driver’s window, she saw him leaning between the door and the steering wheel. She pecked on the glass to get his attention.

His head flopped back against the seat; one hand was over his heart. With the movements of a drunkard, he rolled down the window. He didn’t see Esther standing there. He saw a blue blob. Blue from the denim clothing she was wearing. To him it was a state troopers uniform.

“Officer,” He stumbled. “Hyperventilating.”  

Esther’s heart stopped when he mistook her for a cop. But she fully understood the implications when he said he was hyperventilating. She started talking to him in a calm reassuring voice, as she looked for a paper bag. She figured if this was common, he would have a bag within reach.

He gasped, “can’t breathe. Chest on fire.”

Finally, she found a bag in the driver side door cubby. After what seemed like an eternity, he started to calm down. She rubbed his back and continued to speak calmly to him.

A sheriff’s cruiser pulled in front of them. When Oscar finally calmed down, the deputy drove him and his car home with Esther not far behind.

Esther and this man put him to bed.

“It’s a good thing you came along little lady.” He smiled as he shook her hand.

Esther blushed; it had been a long time since anyone called her ‘little lady’. “God has a plan for all of us.”

“Indeed he does. I’m Chet.”

“Esther. Oscar has been kind enough to let me sleep in his guest room until I get started on the house.”

“He is an amazing friend.”

“I can see that.”

Chet gave her a business card, “here’s my number if you need anything. Have him call me when he gets okay.”

Sheriff, Chet was the local sheriff. She smiled as she put the card in her pocket “Can do.”

Chet let himself out.

As Esther looked around his bedroom, she was amazed. Like the living room it was well put together, almost too good for a man. His bedroom suit was black with gold trim.

There wasn’t a lot of clutter. A few pictures on the walls, but not much more. Oscar really did have great taste. But no chest of drawers or dressers.

Oscar opened his eyes to see Esther sleeping in the corner of his bed room. She was so….His tired mind couldn’t think of the right word to call her. He did feel very comfortable around her. As he set up, he realized it was six o’clock in the afternoon.

Comfortable. He wasn’t comfortable around women. They snickered about his nose. Or he was ‘too’ thin. A concept in today’s society he didn’t understand. How’s one ‘too’ thin? No one ever asked him, ‘are you healthy?’ We just look and judge. No one gives a flip how that makes you feel. Just look and judge.

Winter Season

Waste not. Want not: book ends

I decided I needed some bookends. Things that are not just laying around my house. These 2 bottles are the biggest ones I had on hand. I weighed them down with ash and water.
The magazine was free. The deco-podge was left over from another project.
Cute but too small. 😢
My bestie saved me a couple 2 liters. I got the magazine in the mail. Sadly, I had to buy some more deco-podge. I cut the 2 liters in half, put the small bottles inside, added more weight and covered them.
The bigger bottles worked a lot better. $1.31 book ends.

Blackout poetry

I have been seeing blackout poetry a lot and really like it. But hadn’t been able to try it yet. I found an old book to give it a try. But then it came down to trying, I couldn’t. The book I found was a copy of Ben Hur. I couldn’t deface it.

Up the street from where I work is a pocket library. I reached in, grabbed a random book, so here we go.

My first attempt at blackout poetry was trying to fit my written words onto the page.

Hard for the reader to read. My first attempt at blackout poetry. Interesting. Fun. Now you try.
My second attempt is much easier to read. I’m alive! Oxygen in. Dream. Voice. Sound. Lift my head. Air. Wind. Make sense. I lost my mind

I like it a lot. Here’s to trying. 🎉

Winter Season

I’m sorry everyone. I got out of order. Here’s what’s really next. Promise to pay closer attention next time.

Language

Smile

Oscar chuckled. “Unless we have an Earthquake, I don’t think your bed will be rocked too much.”

“You’re not going to throw a wild party and all your drunk guests come over and t.p. my tree?”

He smiled despite himself. “No.” A thought crept into his mind. Maybe he could rock her bed sometime?

“If you don’t mind me saying, you have a nice smile. You should smile more.”

“Thank you.” She had her right arm draped over the back of the couch with her hand dangling toward the cushions. He noticed the ring on her hand. Had it been there the whole time? It was silver with a large yellow gem in the center with what looked like a little cluster of diamonds on each side. He slid his hand under hers, “that is a lovely ring.”

“Thanks,” she smiled a sad smile. “Some friends of mine bought it for me when I got baptized.”

“That is an amazing gift.”

She seemed to get lost in that moment.

He wished she would tell him what she was thinking.

Finally she replied, “it was. But what was the most amazing part was that the church was a sea of black uniforms.”

He asked her to stay another night. There wasn’t much thinking to it this night. No heat, no cleaning had gotten done. They had pretty much spent the afternoon talking. She was amazed at how much she enjoyed talking to him. How easy conversation just flowed. He was a very smart man. Seemed to be genuinely kind, and smelt so good.

Monday rolled around and as Oscar went to work, she went to buy cleaning supplies.  

There was a warm feeling in Oscar’s heart as he pulled out of the drive way. This wonderful woman could become a friend. A friend he needed. He allowed a little smile to dance across his face. Little smile. Why not a big one? He thought. No one’s looking. No one will know. His mood reached heights it hadn’t been in years. The snowball fight, dinner, watching her sleep, and she was so easy to talk to. It all played through his mind.

That stupid cartoon grin of his brothers played through his mind crashing his mood. He still felt embarrassed every time he thought about it. Too him, his family was horrible. It made him feel good that Esther stood up to his brother. He tried but then when he did the effort only made him feel worse. Like he was the one doing something wrong.

He jumped out of his skin when his cellphone rang. His mother’s name showed up. This was going to be a treat. The easiest thing to do was not answer. But for some reason he couldn’t do that. His mother didn’t have anything good to say about him, EVER. From the moment he accepted the call, she started. “Who was the whore of Babylon? Whore, whore.” Every other word was whore, slut, whore, loose women. On and on she squawked. She sounded like a cage full of birds. “Your brother told me about your all weekend sex scandal. You should be more like him and find you a woman to marry. What’s wrong with Doris? Oh and what business did she have attackin’ Pussy? She’s a good girl that would never hurt a soul.”  Oscar’s head started spinning and his vision became blurry. It was all he could do to pull off the road. “Whore, slut, tramp, Doris just ain’t good enough for you is she? You’ve always acted like you were better than us.”

On she talked but he couldn’t remember about what. Her voice continued to echo inside his head. Swirling like a raging tornado.

He couldn’t breathe. His heart was being squeezed out of his chest. With great difficulty he squeaked, “at work,” before shutting off the phone.

Winter Season

So excited..

I’ve always been jealous of people who have always known what they wanted to be when they grew up. You know that person. The one that says, “I knew from the time I was 3 that I wanted to be a ————. Fill in their answer here.

I thought I’ve never had such ambitions. Most times I feel like a Wal-Mart bag caught on the wind. Oh, this looks good, I can do that. I might be able to do this.. but.

A friend of mine was encouraged by her therapist to journal. While trying to help her explore ways around conventional journaling, I discovered the world of blogging. People blog about EVERYTHING. Really they do.

I asked some questions. Found a platform and started blogging myself. All the while, I’m having a conversation with God about this direction. I have a really difficult time knowing if God put an idea in my head or not. There is some really good talent out there. Can I really hold my own?

While looking back through works I’ve kept, I found stuff from 8th grade that I had written. Maybe I’ve always been interested in some form of writing?

Statistically, I’m not going to be able to quit my day job. Authors like Stephen King are not the normal.

Monday, I received my first in-depth peer review. A fellow blogger, part time writer asked if he could do a review of a short story I had posted.

I always question my direction. Is it God? Or is Satan trying to trick me?

John 8:44 KJV – 44 ….When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

After he asked me if I cared, I was excited to hear what he had to say. Then after I read his review, I was on cloud nine.

Is that you God? Encouraging me to chase my passion but don’t give up my day job.

Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Thank you God for laying a path for me to follow.

Thank you Ted for an encouraging review.

(The Moon is Too Bright) To See Many Stars

Thanks to Doyle for laying the groundwork.