Christmas music: day 2

Lyrics:

Hail blessed morn, see the great Mediator

Down from the regions of glory descend

Shepherds go worship the babe in a manger

Lo! For a guard the bright angels attend

Say, shall we yield Him, in costly devotion

Fragrance of Edom and off’rings divine?

Gems of the mountain and pearls of the ocean

Myrrh from the forest, or gold from the mine? 

Brightest and best of sons of the morning

Dawn on our darkness and lend us Thine aid

Star in the East, the horizon adorning

Guide where our infant Redeemer was laid

Vainly we offer each ample oblation

Vainly with gifts would His favor secure

Richer by far is the heart’s adoration

Dearer to God are the prayers of the poor

Brightest and best of sons of the morning

Dawn on our darkness and lend us Thine aid

Star in the East, the horizon adorning

Guide where our infant Redeemer was laid

Cold on His cradle the dewdrops were shining

Low lies His bed with the beasts of the stall

Angels adore Him, in slumbers reclining

Wise men and shepherds before Him do fall

Wise men and shepherds before Him do fall

Brightest and best of sons of the morning

Dawn on our darkness and lend us Thine aid

Star in the East, the horizon adorning

Guide where our infant Redeemer was laid

Brightest and best of sons of the morning

Dawn on our darkness and lend us Thine aid

Star in the East, the horizon adorning

Guide where our infant Redeemer was laid

Guide where our infant Redeemer was laid

My last weight loss journey; update

Eye roll 🙄, I’ve been countin’ my calories with the My Fitness Pal app. And once a week I’ve been weighing myself. 

I’ve been using this thing more; once I sprayed it with White Grease and got rid of the very obnoxious squeak. 🙃 It’s always something. 

107 blood sugar 

Blood pressure 133/84, little on the high side 😢 Guess I shouldn’t have had the extra slice of pizza last night. 

Weighed myself early this week because I will not be home the last day of Nov. Frustration station, gained 3 pounds. Even before I ate any turkey.  

Total weight loss: 1 pound. 

Comments: have people found out that you’re trying to loose weight or trying to make better choices, what was some of the hurtful or discouraging comments they made to you?

Here are some I’ve been told: you need to stop, you’re starting to look like a witch.

You know, the first 8 pounds is water weight?

The holidays is the worst time to try to diet. You’re setting yourself up for failure.

Sunshine Valley

Dinner in the park

     She, Della, and Stella buzzed around like bees. It gave her plenty to do so she didn’t think about the speech. Dillon and Bradley showed up as others were getting their food. Dillon pulled her aside, “are you okay?”

     “Nervous.”

     “I’m right here.”

     She blushed, “thank you.”

     As everyone was eating, Povol got up. She thanked everyone for coming. Was impressed with the size of this year’s crowd. Explained that October was domestic violence awareness month and gave an overview of what d.v. was. Thanked law enforcement from the officers to court house staff for doing such a fine job. Then she explained about the victim speaker. Silence filled the park as she introduced Evelyn. 

     As she walked to the steps of the small stage, she knew Dillon had an idea. He had read reports, saw pictures. Her dad had visited her once while she was in the hospital but didn’t know much. This wasn’t going to be fun for anyone. Povol gave her a great big hug and handed her the microphone. She accepted it and sat on the top step of the stage. 

     Her voice cracked as she said hello. She cleared her throat, “hi. As most of you know, I’m Jack’s daughter.” She decided to focus on Dillon; instead of weaving her attention on different members of the crowd. “Some teenagers are encouraged by school officials, parents (not mine),” She smiled. “Mom and dad would’ve been just as happy if I’d stayed in Sunshine Valley. They are encouraged to go off to school, learn all you can. Grab Atlas by the balls and hold on tight. Get a good job. Well, I did those things: got a good education. Good job. Got married. Together, we were kickin’ the world’s ass. We had the big house. The nice cars. We went on lavish vacations. I was able to fly my parents out for my wedding. So, my ex knew my family. Knew where I was from. It was never a secret. My parents had a good marriage. Though my relationship with my mother was tumultuous. I’ve since learned a lot of teenage girls go through that phase. I had no idea what domestic violence was. That happens to other people.” Povol brought her a bottle of water. She mouthed thank you and took a drink. “I have worked from home long before working from home was popular. Had an office set up in the basement. One evening, I came home from work, as it were. My ex was watching football. I decided not to disturb him. So I took a shower. When I came out of the bathroom, most of you know how we’re dressed. Wrapped up in a towel. Hair is in a towel. He ripped the towel off my head, drug me through the house by my hair and tied me to the foot of the bed. I stayed like that for a month. Dad got to missing me and called in a wellness check. That’s how I was found the first time. During that month, he sold my horse. Riding was amazing. And I was good at it. That was the first thing to go. We did okay for about 6 months.” She paused, “not okay. Someone asked, ‘why didn’t you leave’? Since we didn’t have any children and he had sold my horse, he threatened to have my dad killed. After that ‘I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again period. Or honeymoon phase.’ I paid for it dearly, he beat me so badly, that he got scared and took me to the e.r. Not for my sake but because he was afraid he’d gone too far. Even told police that. He said that we had gotten into a verbal altercation, it escalated, then he lost control. Some asked, ‘why didn’t you tell the e.r. staff you were in trouble’? He never left me. And from that point on, was always in control. I’m not going to go into the messy details, overall I was taken to the e.r. 6 times. Again, I was asked, ‘why didn’t you run’? I knew him well enough to know that all he had to do was make a call and he would have killed my dad. As a child, could you live with that kind of guilt? Each time I was taken to the e.r., I was at deaths door. My ex locked me in a closet and was for the most part starving me to death. Had it not been for the bravery of my dad, I wouldn’t be here. For,” Evie stopped, thinking. “Untold years, he fought the power of money for my life. Right now, my ex is in prison. He shot a cop. I’m using this time to try to put back as much of my life as I can. Thanks to amazing people, I have a strong support system. Domestic violence doesn’t care if you are rich or poor. What your ethnic background is. What school you went to. It doesn’t care if you’re a doctor, lawyer, or a fry cook. It doesn’t discriminate. It blacks eyes, breaks bones, breaks your spirit and crushes your soul. Threatens your very existence and the existence of the people you love.” 

Waste not. Want not; dog treats

Last year, I bought Cheekie a dog treat advent calendar. It was $10 or $12 for 25 dog treats. Most of which he didn’t like. In that case, the advent calendar was mostly for me. Seeing which treat would be under the hidden panel next.

On a shopping trip to 5 Below I found this. Pot holder in back not part of the advent calendar.

It was $3, I think. 🤔

I filled it with treats I know Cheekie will eat.

Wrapping each one in plastic wrap: 1. So they don’t dry out. Not that I think Cheekie cares about that. 2. So I can use it next year. 25 treats that I know he likes.

Sunshine Valley

October 

     Dillon put his arms around Evie. She planted a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m worried about you and this dinner.” She scooted as close to him as she could get. 

     “Your concern is appreciated.” She set up. Dillon was lounging on the pillows. She rested her hands on his stomach, “I’m not good at saying ‘love stuff’. I’m more of a show-er. When you leave in the mornin’ and I say, ‘go save lives lawman. First and foremost being your own’, I pray you know that I’m saying I love you.” She cringed that the words as they left her mouth. They sounded weak. Stupid. Less than words to her ears. 

     He caressed her cheek, raising her chin slightly, “we can learn together.”

     Tears streamed down her face, “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

     “Disappointed?”

     “I have no other word for me.”

     “Come back here.” He guided her head to his shoulder. When she was settled, he kissed her on the forehead. “When you don’t have, or can’t say the words, feel free to show me.”

     Evie hadn’t been able to go back to church. Pastor Sam hadn’t tried to reach back out to her. She had been watching the services through a local t.v. station and he looked sadder than usual. The sermon this Sunday was about domestic violence leading up to dinner in the park. 

     Dillon had gone to work. Leaving her to second guess her decision to speak. Some experts thought that 5 years was the magic number of years to heal. Before that, the experience was too new. And you were in no shape to help other victims. While others argued, you never got over the trauma. 

     She suspected more people would be at this dinner than if it was at someone’s house. Povol (with good reason) didn’t want it at the shelter. ‘Dear God,’ she prayed. ‘Let me do the right thing. Say the right words.’

What’s the hold up?

Stripped, I wait with eager anticipation.

Kept in the dark, waiting.

Waiting for light.

Waiting for warmth.

Waiting for joy.

Waiting for warm fingers to glide over me.

Posing me just right. 

Waiting for those noises of approval. 

That make me blush.

Waiting for energy to surge through me.

Remembering that kaleidoscope glow.

Remembering that things had different weight.

Weight?

Weight that broke my pose. Uncorrected. 

I hear noise. 

I feel the air rush past me. 

A slight warmth.

Riddled with anxiety. 

Could it be? 

Bursting with desire.

Is it time?

I feel movement. 

The air around me is a cold I don’t know. 

Light!

AWE! Heavenly light. 

Light touch me!

I need more.

Yes, it’s time.

The wait is over!

It’s more glorious than I remember. 

No more wait. 

No more remembering. 

Posed just right.

Dressed in my finery.

Look at me shine!

Sunshine Valley 

Mr. Smith?

     A few night creatures started their calls to nature. An owl off in the distance serenaded the moon. A few crickets join in with their chorus. 

     Evie finally broke the rhythm of nature, “were you ever married?”

     “No.” She sighed. “Too busy with maw n paw. Couldn’t get close ‘nough.” She patted the rifle next to her. “Leonard n me.”

     “You’re purdy handy with that broom.” Dillon remarked. 

     She laughed, a deep, free laugh. Her whole body shook. It reminded Evie of what laughing must be like for Santa. “Teach u to sneak up on an ole woman.”

     “Wasn’t trying to scare you.” Dillon said. 

     “Oh,” she pointed at him. “Should’a saw the look on your face. You ran like a rabbit.”

     He just sighed, “yeah.”

     Evie made a mental note of his lack of enthusiasm regarding this subject. It crossed her mind that he had been beaten with a broom before? Suddenly, she remembered, one evening she and her dad found him curled up at the bottom step of their back porch. For whatever reason, her mom wasn’t there. She had helped her dad care for him. His arms and legs were black and blue. There was a few whelk marks on his back. It was remarkable that he didn’t have a broken bone. Or 5. 

     Evie just watched him. It seemed to her he was thinking about that same thing. When she looked at Smith, she was watchin’ them both. 

     “You hadn’t been born yet,” Smith started talking. “Coral was a bad seed even back yunder. He’d pull my hair. Take sticks and lift up my dress tail. Had this coat, last thing paw bought me. He lit it ah fire with me in it.” She cleared her throat. “Beat his ass over that. He spit blood rest of day. Got n trouble by teach. Never went back.” She locked eyes with Dillon, “sorry didn’t teach him his lesson.”

     Evie hugged up her knees, “who was the Mr. Smith that got away?”

     Smith sucked air through her teeth and just sighed.